I Know Who I Am by Jeremy Camp

I try so hard but I always fall short
So I've faced the truth of my weakness
There's nothing good that I can bring forth
But I stand in the strength of Your presence

I've wasted time always trying to face things alone

But I wait here now and I lay it all down

I know who I am and I know I'm not able
To stand on my own, I can't live all alone
So I'm taking my hands and I'm reaching them out
And I fall down, for You I fall down

In times of brokenness always You show
The depth of love that You bring me
And I'm kneeling down in Your presence I know
Your source of life I'm receiving

I place myself in Your arms that will always lead me
And I won't let go cause there's nowhere else to go

And I know who I am and I know I'm not able
To stand on my own, I can't live all alone
So I'm taking my hands and I'm reaching them out
And I fall down, for You I fall down

I don't know why the things I want to do I always run from now,
Because I know apart from You there's nothing that I can do where life will become new

And I know who I am and I know I'm not able
To stand on my own, I can't live all alone
So I'm taking my hands and I'm reaching them out
And I know that I'll take everything that's in me
And I fall down, for You I fall down, for You I fall down

Jeremy Camp and Suffering

I just finished reading "I Still Believe," which is a memoir written by my favourite music artist, Jeremy Camp. Right away here I'm going to recommend this book so that I don't forget to by the end of this post :).

Now I knew that he had gone through some tough times in his life before I read his book, but Jeremy Camp's testimony is truly incredible. It reveals the spiritual depth behind his song lyrics, and his ministry through music has had a huge impact on many people around the world.

Suffering has been a theme in his life with the climax being the loss of his first wife, Melissa, to cancer after they were married for just three and a half months. Two weeks after her death, Jeremy heard God's call for him to pick up his guitar and begin his ministry with the musical gifts that he had been blessed with. He responded to the call and is now re-married with three children, doing what God has called him to do. Worship.

There is a lot more to this story as the book is jam-packed with Scripture verses and various other events that happened in Jeremy's life. But there is one thing that stood out to me the most. It was the godly character of Melissa and her story that has left me inspired.

"She loved Jesus, and she loved other people. There wasn't a hint of 'better than others' in her... she had an all-out devotion to God. She was constantly reading her Bible and praying. She never seemed to miss an opportunity to talk with someone about Jesus. She was so focused on her relationship with the Lord and being a shining example for Him... Why is she so happy? She just found out she has cancer. I would be devastated, I was thinking. 'How are you doing?' I asked. Her answer still inspires me: 'If I were to die from this cancer and just one person accepted Jesus because of it, it would all be worth it.'... Melissa was willing to suffer if it meant just one person would gain eternity in heaven!... No matter how badly Melissa suffered, she continued to praise God."

This young woman died at my age. 21. God blessed her greatly because one of the nurses who saw Melissa's faith came to know the Lord before she passed away. Just one person. What an amazing story.

I was thinking about suffering the other day. Philippians 1:21 says, "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." What would it look like for me to live as if I truly believed this? I can honestly say that I would count it a privilege to suffer for Christ, in whatever form it may be. We Christians don't face a lot of persecution in Canada, if any, and it makes me sad sometimes because I know that persecution is something that can strengthen our faith in God and challenge us to deepen our relationships with Him.

I'm torn...part of me wants to suffer...and the other part of me rejoices because I am not suffering. But I'm on board with Melissa when I think about just one person. I pray that God would give me that privilege. To see even just one person come to faith, whether I'm suffering or not. Just thinking about it brings joyful tears to my eyes. I often feel the broken heart of God for the lost, and it aches. Lord let Your Kingdom come!