Refocus

These past two weeks have been difficult. I've done a lot of stupid things. Even while knowing that God is everything that I need and that He knows what is best, I have once again inched my way toward the line of worldliness. But God has had mercy on me once again. Extremely thankful that He will never let me go, I repented and have been working to refocus.

I am loved by the Creator of the universe, and I would dare to think about throwing it all away for the "love" of man?
May God help me to never think that way again.

My Dad told me an analogy about three pop cans: The first one is perfect, never opened, not damaged in any way, whole. The second is as if it is about to burst, both top and bottom pushed to the limit. The third has exploded completely, crushed beyond repair. Some Christians have learned what it means to be content, to know that God is their everything, and they rest in that. Others are desperately clinging onto things of this world, desires of the flesh, and are finding themselves under increasing pressure. And still others have collapsed under the pressure and have given up on God altogether.

These past couple of months I know that I have been the second pop can and I want so desperately to be the first pop can. I want to be confident in the Lord and humbly living out what I believe. But I recognize that this is impossible without the work of the Holy Spirit in my life. I need to learn to listen and obey. To come out of the cold, dark, unloving freezer of the world and humbly allow God to thaw me out and reshape me in His loving arms.

And so I pray...

Holy Spirit, living Breath of God,
Breathe new life into my willing soul.
Bring the presence of the risen Lord
To renew my heart and make me whole.
Cause Your Word to come alive in me;
Give me faith for what I cannot see;
Give me passion for Your purity.
Holy Spirit, breathe new life in me.

Holy Spirit, come abide within;
May Your joy be seen in all I do--
Love enough to cover ev'ry sin
In each thought and deed and attitude,
Kindness to the greatest and the least,
Gentleness that sows the path of peace.
Turn my striving into works of grace.
Breath of God, show Christ in all I do.

Holy Spirit, from creation's birth,
Giving life to all that God has made,
Show Your power once again on earth;
Cause Your church to hunger for Your ways.
Let the fragrance of our prayers arise.
Lead us on the road of sacrifice
That in unity the face of Christ
Will be clear for all the world to see.

- Keith Getty and Stuart Townend

Dear Friend

I have to admit that the day I met you I was unsure of...well...anything and everything about you really. I did not know you and I did not interact with you much but I knew that I liked you. I still do by the way...

Now as the years went by and we conversed a bit more I discovered that you were vaguely familiar with my best friend, but not completely convinced about Him. This knowledge caused me to struggle. In fact I've since struggled with my emotions and have been earnestly pleading with God in prayer about you. 

I am consistently reminded that there are very few things that I can do to encourage you towards one day choosing to be best friends with my best friend too. 

What is it about my best friend that scares you? Is He too demanding, too unaccepting, too complicated? Well, to tell you the truth, He is all of those things and more, but you must know the reasons why He is the way He is. 

My best friend is Jesus Christ, and He is Lord of my life.

He is too demanding in a sense because we as mere humans can never live up to His standards on our own. 

He is too unaccepting for us because we are sinners and He, being holy, cannot stand the presence of sin.

He is too complicated because He is God, and we cannot possibly understand everything about Him.

And yet He is also NOT too demanding, too unaccepting, or too complicated. How?

We deserve to die for breaking God's laws but instead Jesus died in our place and made a way for us to someday be in heaven with Him. So Jesus is not too demanding because, with His power, we are capable of following all of His commands. He is not too unaccepting because anyone and everyone who repents of their sin and chooses to follow Christ will be saved from eternal punishment and welcomed into heaven and given eternal life. He is also not too complicated because He has revealed to us everything we need to know in the Bible. 

I know that I cannot convince you to believe in any of this, my friend, but I hope that you would consider a few things...

Do you think I'm smart? If so, do you think I would waste my time being a Christian and trying to convince you to be one too if I did not KNOW the truth?

Also, do you think that going to church is sketchy because it might cause you to consider becoming a Christian? And what would be wrong with that?

Finally, do you trust me enough that I would not try and get you involved in something that would be more harmful than beneficial to you?

I understand the fear that you have about the changes that God requires you to make in your life should you choose to follow Him. I will be honest that it is not an easy choice to make, and it is not an easy life to live by any means. My friendship with you speaks volumes to this as you have poked fun at my beliefs on a number of occasions. But yet the loving care that I have for you has only increased over time because I know that eternal life is worth the extra effort. 

I know that you do not enjoy my discussing these matters with you at this point but I hope that someday you would come to church and/or at least explore the truth for your sake. I continue to intercede for you in prayer, whether you want me to or not, because I am stubborn and care too much about you and want you in heaven with me.

Your friend, 

Jessica

I Like Sushi

Now that is quite the understatement because I LOVE sushi! I maybe eat it only four or five times a year but it is a treat every time. Today I went with a few of my close friends to I Like Sushi, a place that serves sushi and also has a large Chinese buffet. Great food in general. You can see the delicious morsels of sushi displayed below...

Now when you arrive at an all-you-can-eat sushi place such as I Like Sushi, it helps to be familiar with what you are ordering and how much you and your friends can eat because if you do not finish everything you order, you pay for the leftovers on top of the base rate. This particular time my friends and I ordered way too much (this is not the first time this has happened either) and my stomach seemed to get more and more angry at me as more sushi rolls appeared on the table. By the time we all felt absolutely stuffed to the max, there were just a few little pieces of sushi left and we were tempted to do this...

But we didn't. Congrats to my friends for eating so much sushi! We got more than double of what we payed for for sure :). Despite feeling like a bloated tonne of bricks, I still LOVE sushi.