Continuing to follow our young adults series on relationships, sex is our next topic.
Not very often do we realize how tightly we are holding onto our cultural beliefs. We must be willing to let go and filter them through the biblical worldview. Think about the question, "If you don't do anything sexual before marriage, won't you have an awkward wedding night?" Where does a question like that come from? Who told you that your first sexual encounter should be like anything? Don't filter the Bible through your cultural expectations! Some Christians don't take the Bible seriously because they are holding tightly to culture for dear life and they are willing to let go of biblical truth. What is in your closed hand? We are usually ok with being challenged by the Word of God until it challenges our deepest desires. If Jesus is not Lord of all, He is not Lord at all! Repent of your idolatry and really give everything to Jesus, holding nothing back.
1. What is the purpose of sex according to our culture? It's not hard to see that sex is primarily for pleasure, status, profit, and is also a way to express love to someone in our culture.
2. What is the purpose of sex according to God? This goes back to Genesis 2:24-25 where we see the first mention of covenantal union. Look at Matthew 19:3-6 where Jesus explains that God joins people together in the covenant of marriage. Now back to Genesis...it clearly talks about sex as the physical union in marriage but there is more to it than that. 1 Corinthians 6:15-17 suggests that to engage in physical union with a prostitute is to break spiritual union with God. So sex is both physical and spiritual union. You cannot separate the two. Just as baptism is a physical demonstration of the covenant of faith, sex is a physical demonstration of the marital covenant.
3. Why does God prohibit sexual immorality? Sex outside of marriage, according to how Scripture shows it, is unthinkable. Never say, "I'm saving sex for marriage," as if our culture is the accepted norm! Marriage is what sex is for! Sex inside and outside of marriage is like comparing a baptism to a pool party, they are two totally different things. Sex outside of marriage is a selfish act of theft and manipulation and is about power and control. It is not just a sin of impatience, it is defrauding. Look at 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6. Sex inside of marriage is a selfless act of giving to one another and connecting both physically and spiritually see Ephesians 5:22-33.
4. What is sexual immorality? It is not just sexual intercourse. It begins when your body starts preparing for sex. From the book "Sex, Dating, and Relationships" by Gerald Heistand and Jay Thomas I quote, "Simply stated, if an activity is sexual, no matter how minor, it is to be reserved for the marriage relationship - not because of what it might lead to, but because of what it is in and of itself." Some people might not be able to hold hands because it turns them on. You know yourself. But above all remember 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 because if you are a Christian, your body is the Lord's and He commands you to glorify Him with it.
5. How can I stay sexually pure while dating? Sadly, 80% of Christians have sex before they are married. Why? Because 80% of Christians are caught up in acts that are sexual in nature which fire them up sexually and lead to eventual intercourse. If you don't want to sin sexually, don't engage in activities that turn you on! God commands us to flee from sexual immorality (1 Cor. 6:18). Actively distance yourself! Pride says that we can handle situations that would tempt us but God says otherwise. He tells us not to give our flesh a chance to cause us to sin in Romans 13:14. Read and reflect on Proverbs 1-6. Set boundaries a safe distance away and tell other people to keep you accountable. You don't have to follow the Hollywood script. Not doing something is easier than doing it and realizing that you have to stop. Don't make it harder for yourself and ask yourself why you would do things that would make you more vulnerable and stupid? The sooner you introduce physical intimacy to a relationship, the faster you lose the ability to build real intimacy. You have decades (Lord-willing) in marriage to enjoy physical intimacy with no-strings attached!
6. What if I've already messed up? Everyone is a sexual sinner. Know that Jesus died on the cross for your sexual sin and the Holy Spirit gives you the strength to overcome it. If you are engaging in sexual sin in your current relationship, press pause and get help. All sin rears it's ugly head eventually and the sooner you deal with it, the better. Make sure that you are not your girlfriend or boyfriend's accountability partner. This is dangerous because the more you discuss your sexual struggles with one another, the more likely it is that you will fall into sexual sin in your relationship. Get older, married Christian people to be your accountability partners with whom you can share everything and get solid advice from. Marriage is not a bandaid for sexual sin. You will bring your current struggles into your marriage and they will likely cause more harm than if they were dealt with prior to marriage.
Not very often do we realize how tightly we are holding onto our cultural beliefs. We must be willing to let go and filter them through the biblical worldview. Think about the question, "If you don't do anything sexual before marriage, won't you have an awkward wedding night?" Where does a question like that come from? Who told you that your first sexual encounter should be like anything? Don't filter the Bible through your cultural expectations! Some Christians don't take the Bible seriously because they are holding tightly to culture for dear life and they are willing to let go of biblical truth. What is in your closed hand? We are usually ok with being challenged by the Word of God until it challenges our deepest desires. If Jesus is not Lord of all, He is not Lord at all! Repent of your idolatry and really give everything to Jesus, holding nothing back.
1. What is the purpose of sex according to our culture? It's not hard to see that sex is primarily for pleasure, status, profit, and is also a way to express love to someone in our culture.
2. What is the purpose of sex according to God? This goes back to Genesis 2:24-25 where we see the first mention of covenantal union. Look at Matthew 19:3-6 where Jesus explains that God joins people together in the covenant of marriage. Now back to Genesis...it clearly talks about sex as the physical union in marriage but there is more to it than that. 1 Corinthians 6:15-17 suggests that to engage in physical union with a prostitute is to break spiritual union with God. So sex is both physical and spiritual union. You cannot separate the two. Just as baptism is a physical demonstration of the covenant of faith, sex is a physical demonstration of the marital covenant.
3. Why does God prohibit sexual immorality? Sex outside of marriage, according to how Scripture shows it, is unthinkable. Never say, "I'm saving sex for marriage," as if our culture is the accepted norm! Marriage is what sex is for! Sex inside and outside of marriage is like comparing a baptism to a pool party, they are two totally different things. Sex outside of marriage is a selfish act of theft and manipulation and is about power and control. It is not just a sin of impatience, it is defrauding. Look at 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6. Sex inside of marriage is a selfless act of giving to one another and connecting both physically and spiritually see Ephesians 5:22-33.
4. What is sexual immorality? It is not just sexual intercourse. It begins when your body starts preparing for sex. From the book "Sex, Dating, and Relationships" by Gerald Heistand and Jay Thomas I quote, "Simply stated, if an activity is sexual, no matter how minor, it is to be reserved for the marriage relationship - not because of what it might lead to, but because of what it is in and of itself." Some people might not be able to hold hands because it turns them on. You know yourself. But above all remember 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 because if you are a Christian, your body is the Lord's and He commands you to glorify Him with it.
5. How can I stay sexually pure while dating? Sadly, 80% of Christians have sex before they are married. Why? Because 80% of Christians are caught up in acts that are sexual in nature which fire them up sexually and lead to eventual intercourse. If you don't want to sin sexually, don't engage in activities that turn you on! God commands us to flee from sexual immorality (1 Cor. 6:18). Actively distance yourself! Pride says that we can handle situations that would tempt us but God says otherwise. He tells us not to give our flesh a chance to cause us to sin in Romans 13:14. Read and reflect on Proverbs 1-6. Set boundaries a safe distance away and tell other people to keep you accountable. You don't have to follow the Hollywood script. Not doing something is easier than doing it and realizing that you have to stop. Don't make it harder for yourself and ask yourself why you would do things that would make you more vulnerable and stupid? The sooner you introduce physical intimacy to a relationship, the faster you lose the ability to build real intimacy. You have decades (Lord-willing) in marriage to enjoy physical intimacy with no-strings attached!
6. What if I've already messed up? Everyone is a sexual sinner. Know that Jesus died on the cross for your sexual sin and the Holy Spirit gives you the strength to overcome it. If you are engaging in sexual sin in your current relationship, press pause and get help. All sin rears it's ugly head eventually and the sooner you deal with it, the better. Make sure that you are not your girlfriend or boyfriend's accountability partner. This is dangerous because the more you discuss your sexual struggles with one another, the more likely it is that you will fall into sexual sin in your relationship. Get older, married Christian people to be your accountability partners with whom you can share everything and get solid advice from. Marriage is not a bandaid for sexual sin. You will bring your current struggles into your marriage and they will likely cause more harm than if they were dealt with prior to marriage.
