Why...Everything?

Anyone who knows me knows that I love to ask questions, but there is one word in particular I like to use that poses as a question all by itself: why?

I wouldn't say that I am someone who does a lot of intentional sitting and thinking, but I know that my mind is always filled with questions, so I thought it might be useful to take some time to jot down some significant Q&As that I have had over the past 22 years of my life.

I'll start with some whoppers (or Big Macs...depending on your personal preference):
1. Why am I here? 
Honestly, for the longest time I didn't know the answer to that question. I mean, I knew I was here for a reason, some purpose, but I just didn't know. I thought maybe I was supposed to grow up to be just like my Mom (which I would love because my Mom is awesome!), or maybe I'm just supposed to do whatever it takes to be happy, or perhaps I am supposed to just take what life throws at me, leaping into every available opportunity and see what happens.
But God has shown me the meaning of purpose: "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well...in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." - Psalm 139:14-16 God has always had a plan for my life, from before I was born until the end of eternity. "For we are his workmanship, created in Jesus Christ for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." - Ephesians 2:10 He gives me purpose. "The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble." - Proverbs 16:4 He gives everything and everyone purpose. "'Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honour and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created." - Revelation 4:11 We are created for the glory of God and to worship him alone. Everything in my life should be based on that fact. That's why I am here.

2. Why should I obey God?
This is a tricky one to answer from the human perspective because we are all inherently naturally wired to want to have complete control over our own lives. I know that I need to answer this question for myself on a daily basis because it's so easy to forget and just do what I want because I want to. Human nature often gets the better of me but here's what's important to know: "Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?...For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 6:16,23 So one main reason I choose to obey God, or be a slave of obedience as the verse reads, is because I want to be righteous and gain eternal life rather than be a slave to sin which leads to death. "Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him." - John 3:36 "He will render to each one according to his works: to those who by patience in well-doing seek for glory and honour and immortality, he will give eternal life; but for those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, there will be wrath and fury." - Romans 2:6-8 Well I don't know about anyone else, but I choose life! "The reward for humility and fear of the LORD is riches and honour and life." - Proverbs 22:4 There are other perks for choosing to obey or fear God, this is but one of countless examples in Scripture. "And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell." - Matthew 10:28 I know that I am often too concerned with pleasing the human race because I'm afraid of being an outcast, I'm afraid of offending others, I'm afraid of failing in front of people...and the list goes on from there but Jesus calls me to fear God and not to worry about what other people think. If I am living in obedience to him alone, opinions of the human race shouldn't matter because I can trust in God's perfect truth to tell me what is right.

3. Why is it so hard to follow Jesus?
The simple answer to this is because we are only human and Jesus is God. But the Bible sheds some light on this as well. "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." - John 16:33 As a follower of Christ, Jesus speaks to me in this verse. He encourages us that, despite the fact that we will have tribulation or trouble in the world, he has overcome it and offers us peace in the midst of the hard times. "Whoever says 'I know him' but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked." - 1 John 2:4-6 Just reading that passage makes being a follower of Christ seem impossible because no human being can possibly obey the entire Bible! The standard that God has for those who claim to believe in him is unreachable. But it is that way for a reason. "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire." - 2 Peter 1:3-4 So in the midst of our sinfulness, God saves us. We cannot be perfect and holy in order to meet the standards of God but he promises to provide everything we need to get to heaven. The struggle is in trusting him to provide as we press on in faith. "But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs." - 1 Timothy 6:6-10 One of the biggest issues in our world is with money. Everyone needs money for survival but we often find ourselves wanting more than we need. It is true that the richest people in the world are far from happy. We think we know what will make us happy, but God knows that we are happiest when we are most satisfied in him. This is but one of the many examples of human struggle mentioned in Scripture. In summary, it's hard to follow Jesus because everything we are naturally is in contrast to what God wants us to be and we have to fight against ourselves to follow Christ.

Haters Gonna Hate

I'm proud of those who will not associate the title with a certain Taylor Swift song, but the statement is true.

I sit convicted.

People at my work place do not hate me.

At least I assume they don't.

Or they just don't express their indwelling hatred.

Let me explain...

Yesterday's sermon at church was on John 15, a very challenging passage in Scripture.

Verse 19 says, "If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you."

Definition: "the world" refers to everything and everyone who is in opposition to Jesus Christ.

I have been friends with the world lately on a number of levels and it is really starting to weigh heavily on my soul.

I try hard to impress the world, to fit in, to be liked and wanted by it.

Why is that such a craving?

I'd like to use the simple answer and say that it's just because I'm human but I know that it's more complex than that because I am a human who has been saved by Jesus Christ who has overcome the world and who gives us the power to do the same.

I am met with the challenge every day to hold firm to what I believe and live it out before the world. But sometimes I mess up. I get caught up in the demands of the day and forget what my purpose is: to be a light.

But back to the haters. I know that some of the people I associate with are part of the world. They claim to believe in Jesus, but not His Word. They claim to love Jesus, but hate what the Bible says.

This is a problem. A BIG problem.

You cannot claim to believe in or love Jesus Christ because He is inseparable from Scripture. You either take all of Him and His Word, or none of it.

These people in my life I still love, despite their efforts to convince me that they are right and God is wrong. They may not hate me as a person, just what I believe.

I pray that someday they see that God is God and there is no other. That they would take Him at His Word and believe ALL of it.

I am just a human. I cannot convince another human of the truth. So I pray for mercy.

God Is With Us

I thought I was going to fail a class this past semester.

It was a really hard class to study for, and the class average was proving it.

I went into the final this past Wednesday with a 48 and had to get at least 52 on the final to pass.

The final came and went after 24+ hours of studying and lots of prayer and I felt terrible about it. I counted the multiple choice questions that I knew I had gotten correct and the tally was a mere 30 out of 120. 

So many thoughts were going through my head:

What if I fail? This class was a two-semester course which means I paid over $1000 for it and if I fail it would be a waste of God's resources that He has entrusted to me. 

What about my work? They agree to pay 40% of my tuition fees and if I failed this class I'd have to explain it to them and not get reimbursed. 

Lots of people at church know I'm in my second year and if I fail this class, they might challenge me to be less busy so I can focus on school more.

I would be pushed back a whole year of my program and have to take the class again...

The negative thoughts didn't end there, but I remembered that God is faithful and even if I did fail, it would still be ok. Life would go on, I could take some third year courses and maybe even some fourth year ones while I work full time to make some progress. While I attempted to gain some comfort from planning for failure, the negative thoughts still overwhelmed me to the point of tears. God doesn't want us to be discouraged (Deuteronomy 31:8). He wants us to trust Him. I tried my best while waiting for the marks to get back and they finally came Saturday.

My classmates love to text when marks are posted and, although I was checking at every chance I got, they still managed to inform me via text after I was done work. I tried to remain calm while checking my phone for the marks and I swiped the final page to reveal the outcome...I PASSED!!

Some of my co-workers witnessed my outburst of uncontrollable joyful shaking and celebrated with me even though they didn't know the situation...but I praised Jesus in their presence nonetheless.

I mean 53 is not a mark to brag about but it means that I got at least 60% on the final exam which I'm sure was impossible for me without God. 

Lots of friends and family were praying for me during this time and I appreciate you all! 

I am even more convinced now that God wants me to be a nurse and I know that I can trust Him to get me through the toughest classes for His glory. 

Heading into Spring semester, I know there are things that have to change in my life and I'll call them lessons I learned that require application:

- Time with God needs to come first everyday.

- I need to start exercising (and training for the 1/2 marathon I signed up for).

- Snacking must be a healthy need.

- Diligence is required for homework and studying.

- I need to do my best at all things for the glory of my gracious heavenly Father.

How to Date to Get Married

I discovered the following article yesterday and found it to be quite insightful, you'll find my response to the article below the link:

http://www.boundless.org/relationships/2015/how-to-date-to-get-married

From my childhood until a few years ago males, apart from my father and brothers, were not close friends of mine. I was (and still am in a lot of ways) one of those girls who just could not attract the attention of males even though I wanted it. My Dad told me in my high school years that I'm an intimidating person, an "off-limits" girl to most guys because they (rightly) presume that I have high moral standards and high standards for the guys I date. Now, while I like to think that I have reasonable standards or expectations for the guys that I date, not many guys have taken the risk to ask me out and I often wonder why?

I have only ever dated two guys.

The first one knew that I liked him because I made it very obvious and so I believe that helped him to feel confident enough  to ask me out. I had taken away the element of risk and I also ended up, to my dismay, leading much of the relationship in trying to pursue my boyfriend instead of letting him pursue me. I broke things off just shy of a year because things just weren't working. I had unrealistic expectations and was expecting this guy to change to fit my list of qualities. I did not appreciate him for who he was and other people who were observing our relationship agreed that things were not going well.

I met my second boyfriend on a blind date. If we had not been set up, I am not sure that this guy would have chosen to pursue me or that I would have said, "yes," to a date. I decided to give this guy a chance by trying to get to know him and, unfortunately, he was not what I expected. Unrealistic expectations again? I do not think so in this case because many of the people whom I respect and look to for advice were telling me to break things off so, after just about three months of dating, I did.

I have turned down a few guys on the strict basis that they were not Christians when they asked me out, but I have to say that I am impressed that they took the risk to ask.

I have tried to make sure that when I date I am doing so for the purpose of finding a spouse. This makes my interactions with guys limited and/or very difficult to manage. When I meet a guy, one of the first things I try to figure out is whether or not he is a Christian (a.k.a. follower of Christ). If so, I watch how he lives and decide that, if he were to ask me out, I will agree to get to know him. If he is not a Christian, I will decide that we will never be more than friends (unless he comes to faith) and if friendship blossoms, to use that as an opportunity to live out my faith and hopefully one day share the gospel with him. All that being said, I don't hang out with guys one-on-one and rarely in groups. I work with many guys and that is the most interaction that I have with non-family members of the opposite sex. These friendships are the hardest because I often find myself being drawn to their attention and attempting to impress them for my glory instead of focusing on glorifying God. It's a battle against sinful nature that I must learn to fight so as not to become the very things I detest.

If I do ever date again, I will try my best to put aside my list of "ideals" and focus on the person I am dating and evaluating our relationship while keeping the goal of a God-glorifying marriage in mind.

God may not call me to marriage, and that's ok. If He does, I want to be able to say with the author of the article (and my future spouse) that my reason for getting married is, "We loved each other, sensed God drawing us together, and wanted to live life with one another...Really, that's the only reason anyone should get married. Not because marriage is the fulfillment of some personal goal or life plan, but because God is calling you to love another person as Christ loves us - sacrificially and unconditionally."

Every Day Is Unique

It's true.

Just think about it...yesterday wasn't like today and you won't relive any of your days tomorrow.

So how are you making your days count?

Apart from the potential seriousness that could arise from the above question, let me tell you a bit about my day today...

I woke up with the intention of getting up early so that I could work but instead of taking a flying leap out of bed at 5:30am, I decided to press snooze until 6:07am. After cuddling my fluffy dog for an extra 5 minutes, I finally dragged myself out of my warm sleeping space into the cool, brisk air of my basement dwelling and further woke myself up with a shower. Time was then 6:30am. I finished putting mousse in my hair and touching up my make-up and so gracefully galloped up the stairs to search the kitchen for breakfast food items to satisfy my hungry stomach. Options were limited as the time was ticking so I poured myself a bowl of Strawberry Special K with about a 1/2 cup of extra added fibre, which supposedly makes you feel fuller for longer. Then I ate a chocolate chip cookie which had been baked the night before by yours truly. So with my hunger and sugar craving both successfully depleted, I grabbed my work essentials, which consisted of cookies, keys, and my water bottle, and I headed out the front door to my car because I had previously failed to arise in time to walk to CT.

I shall skip the 11 hours of work with a 40-minute lunch break somewhere in the middle because something more memorable and exciting happened today...

After arriving at home at about 7:15pm, I quickly made myself a roast beef sandwich and looked out the kitchen window. My oldest brother was attempting to start a fire in our fire bowl when all of the sudden I heard a commotion. A flame had hit the dead grass surrounding the pit and a small forest fire was growing and spreading in our backyard. I heard my brother say a calm, cool, and collected, "uh oh" before sprinting as fast as humanly possible into the house to grab the garden hose. If I wasn't trying to help put out the blaze, I would have video-taped it. It was quite the scene. Recipe for a backyard forest fire: Apparently my brother had tried to lightly sprinkle some gas onto the fire to make it burn faster but ended up lighting the gas can and then spilling it onto the grass. Missed the deck by 1 inch! The fire was out in less than 2 minutes but it left a nice, black, water-and-gas-soaked spot on the lawn.

Now I realize that a day like today will probably never happen again because my brother will most likely never try to start or fuel a fire in our backyard with gasoline again...hopefully.

Back to the seriousness from the beginning. There were a few key things missing from my day today, one of which was some time devoted to God. Let today be a lesson to me. I need Jesus. If I am claiming that He is who I live for, I need to prioritize in a way that proves my claim.

Thankfully, "The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:22-23