Dear Friend

I have to admit that the day I met you I was unsure of...well...anything and everything about you really. I did not know you and I did not interact with you much but I knew that I liked you. I still do by the way...

Now as the years went by and we conversed a bit more I discovered that you were vaguely familiar with my best friend, but not completely convinced about Him. This knowledge caused me to struggle. In fact I've since struggled with my emotions and have been earnestly pleading with God in prayer about you. 

I am consistently reminded that there are very few things that I can do to encourage you towards one day choosing to be best friends with my best friend too. 

What is it about my best friend that scares you? Is He too demanding, too unaccepting, too complicated? Well, to tell you the truth, He is all of those things and more, but you must know the reasons why He is the way He is. 

My best friend is Jesus Christ, and He is Lord of my life.

He is too demanding in a sense because we as mere humans can never live up to His standards on our own. 

He is too unaccepting for us because we are sinners and He, being holy, cannot stand the presence of sin.

He is too complicated because He is God, and we cannot possibly understand everything about Him.

And yet He is also NOT too demanding, too unaccepting, or too complicated. How?

We deserve to die for breaking God's laws but instead Jesus died in our place and made a way for us to someday be in heaven with Him. So Jesus is not too demanding because, with His power, we are capable of following all of His commands. He is not too unaccepting because anyone and everyone who repents of their sin and chooses to follow Christ will be saved from eternal punishment and welcomed into heaven and given eternal life. He is also not too complicated because He has revealed to us everything we need to know in the Bible. 

I know that I cannot convince you to believe in any of this, my friend, but I hope that you would consider a few things...

Do you think I'm smart? If so, do you think I would waste my time being a Christian and trying to convince you to be one too if I did not KNOW the truth?

Also, do you think that going to church is sketchy because it might cause you to consider becoming a Christian? And what would be wrong with that?

Finally, do you trust me enough that I would not try and get you involved in something that would be more harmful than beneficial to you?

I understand the fear that you have about the changes that God requires you to make in your life should you choose to follow Him. I will be honest that it is not an easy choice to make, and it is not an easy life to live by any means. My friendship with you speaks volumes to this as you have poked fun at my beliefs on a number of occasions. But yet the loving care that I have for you has only increased over time because I know that eternal life is worth the extra effort. 

I know that you do not enjoy my discussing these matters with you at this point but I hope that someday you would come to church and/or at least explore the truth for your sake. I continue to intercede for you in prayer, whether you want me to or not, because I am stubborn and care too much about you and want you in heaven with me.

Your friend, 

Jessica

I Like Sushi

Now that is quite the understatement because I LOVE sushi! I maybe eat it only four or five times a year but it is a treat every time. Today I went with a few of my close friends to I Like Sushi, a place that serves sushi and also has a large Chinese buffet. Great food in general. You can see the delicious morsels of sushi displayed below...

Now when you arrive at an all-you-can-eat sushi place such as I Like Sushi, it helps to be familiar with what you are ordering and how much you and your friends can eat because if you do not finish everything you order, you pay for the leftovers on top of the base rate. This particular time my friends and I ordered way too much (this is not the first time this has happened either) and my stomach seemed to get more and more angry at me as more sushi rolls appeared on the table. By the time we all felt absolutely stuffed to the max, there were just a few little pieces of sushi left and we were tempted to do this...

But we didn't. Congrats to my friends for eating so much sushi! We got more than double of what we payed for for sure :). Despite feeling like a bloated tonne of bricks, I still LOVE sushi. 

A Noteworthy Prayer

The following is a prayer of a man named Moses, known as the man of God. I call this a noteworthy prayer because of the contents. See how deeply Moses knew God and how he describes the relationship between God and his servants (Moses included)...

"Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations. 

Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

You return man to dust and say, 'Return, O children of man!'

For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night.

You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream, like grass that is renewed in the morning: in the morning it flourishes and is renewed; in the evening it fades and withers.

For we are brought to an end by your anger; by your wrath we are dismayed.

You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.

For all our days pass away under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh.

The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away.

Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you?

So teach us to number our days so that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Return, O LORD! How long? Have pity on your servants!

Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.

Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil.

Let your work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their children.

Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!" - Psalm 90

As I read this I noted a few things:

- Moses first acknowledges God as Lord and "our dwelling place in all generations" which displays his understanding that God is omnipresent or everywhere all at once.

- He then talks about how God has no beginning and no end and is our Maker who is in control of what happens to us and when.

- Moses also reveals that God is all-knowing, and he knows all the wrong that we've ever done. Nothing is kept secret from Him. It is true that not many people consider the power of God or his anger towards sin.

- Moses pleads with God to help us to be wise in our days here on earth and to have pity on those who would be servants of God. We suffer because of sin and we should long for the joy and gladness that only comes from God as he has offered forgiveness to us without price.

- The last few lines in this prayer of Moses discuss the work of God and our work here on earth. The work should be synonymous all for the glory of God.

In summary, I make this prayer my own as I begin another year of school. I want the work of my hands to be what God would have me do. I want to make every day of my life count, gaining wisdom from the truth of God's Word every morning as I live. I want to know the way that God feels when I sin against him so that I may hate my sin enough to turn from it. Most of all I want to see the power of God, I want him to return in all of his glory soon. May my Lord strengthen me as I seek to do his will. 

Reflection

When I look in the mirror I know what I see.

Do other people see what I see when they look at me?
Does that even matter?

I want people to see Jesus when they look at me.

But when I look at me I see a broken human being who is increasingly thankful for the grace of God because she is a sinner.

I want to be more like Christ but obedience is difficult.

My flesh searches after and yearns for everything this world has to offer while my soul cries out to the Lord for rescue from this path of destruction.

What will it take for me to stay on the path toward righteousness?

I spent some time this morning singing a song. I've posted the lyrics here.

This song is close to my heart as it speaks well of my longing to stop walking away from God and stay in His presence and choose to obey.

Nothing is better than that.
I've been there before and it is the best place I can be but I  have to choose to be there. I have to fight against myself to get there and fight harder to remain.

I need to stop looking in the mirror and turn my eyes towards Jesus.
Nothing and no one else matters more.

Dealing with Stress

I have denied ever feeling stressful in the past but I can't deny it anymore. Stress is actually happening. At this point in my life I am waiting for my clinical schedule and hoping that I can work enough hours to make ends meet during the year and also have time to commit to church ministry and soccer.

That's not all.

Things may or may not have fallen apart at work this week as someone very significant was let go. This puts my scholarship at risk which means I may have to job hunt for the first time in my life.

Stop...

God will provide. He has always been faithful and he will continue to be. If I have to struggle for a while, I can trust it is for a good purpose.

Right now I need to humble myself and realize that my life is not ultimately about me. It is about Jesus Christ and his glorification. He is the reason that I live. The reason that I will live forever. He is my Saviour. I owe everything to him.

Breathe. God is in control.