Sunday, 25 March 2012

Of fear and little brothers...

Finally! She had always dreamed of getting her own room. No more messy sister to clean up after. She was free!

Her new room was in the corner of the basement, it was perfectly square with a queen sized bed, two closets, and a wooden dresser. The smaller closet contained the central vacuum, which was very noisy when turned on, but the 10-year-old girl did not mind, she had what she wanted, a room all her own. She would spend many hours in her room, arranging this and that, putting pictures of horses on the creamy yellow walls and stacking her schoolbooks on the closet shelf. Her room was her quiet escape, and she felt so grown up in it. She loved how the sunlight gleamed through the small window in the mornings and throughout the daytime, she hardly ever had to turn on the lights, only at night.

The night was dark and lonely, the young girl was the only person who slept in the basement, the rest of her family slept two levels above her. At first she was not phased by the fact that she would be alone, she would lie in bed with the covers over her head, safe from the scary shadows that filled the small room in the dark. Also, her father had told her to say, “In the name of Jesus be gone!” if she ever felt too scared to sleep. Jesus would protect her, and there was never anything real to be afraid of anyways, no monsters in the closet or under the bed, she could sleep in peace.

The normal bedtime routine would include brushing her teeth, getting into her warm fuzzy pyjamas, turning on the nightlight by the basement stairs, closing both of her closet doors, turning off her bedroom light, leaping into bed and pulling the covers over her head and lastly, falling asleep.

Every night, routine was generally the same, except for sometimes the girl would forget to close her closet doors before she turned off her bedroom light and so she would get up, turn on the light, and make sure her closet was closed. She did not like the shadows of the closet and so the doors would need to be closed for her to be able to fall asleep in peace.

There was one particular night, however when the closet doors did not stay closed as they normally did.

The girl had just finished her regular routine and was just putting the covers over her head when she heard a sound. creak! It was just a small sound, but in a normally silent room at night, the girl became frozen with fear. She tried to think clearly and not worry and she whispered the name of Jesus to herself over and over again, not too loudly for she needed to listen for the sound. creak! It sounded again, a little louder than the last time she was sure. Oh how she wanted to uncover her head to see what was making the sound, but she couldn’t, what if it saw her? She was not even sure if there was an it in her room but if there was she certainly did not want to be seen. But she could not sleep peacefully until she found out the source of the sound. Ok, maybe I’ll peek, just a little, maybe it won’t notice a little peek. So she slowly lifted the covers just enough so she could peek, at first she could not see anything and then she saw the shadow of her dresser. She allowed her eyes to scan the entire room and then she saw it. The closet door was cracked open. But she had closed it before she got into bed, she was sure of it. She did not forget, but how did it get open? She was confused and afraid, she knew that she had closed the closet. But now it was slightly cracked open, why was it open? The question plagued her mind. As she stared at the closet, her imagination began to separate her from reality and she was trapped in her fears. Then the door seemed to open wider as she continued to stare and the creaking sound started again, her heart was thumping wildly and she strained to hold her breath to keep silent. The door was opening more and more with each passing moment. Suddenly a short, fat round figure leaped out of her closet toward her and shouted, “BOO!”

The girl was not waiting to find out what it was, she was already up the basement stairs, tears flowing from her eyes, running to the safety of her mother’s arms. Her mother asked her what was wrong and the girl told the entire story while sobbing. When she described the figure that came out of her closet, she heard a small giggle behind her. She turned around to see her 7-year-old brother in his puffy black winter coat smiling up at her.

Anger began to boil up inside of the girl and she vowed revenge in her mind. From that night on, the girl decided that her closet doors were best left open, she never worried about closing them ever again.

Thursday, 22 March 2012

Random Evangelism!

So tonight I went with a group of 11 people to do some street evangelism downtown. It was really cold so we brought some coats and hot chocolate to give away to the homeless people. Unfortunately, we didn't get to meet many homeless people as it was really cold out but we got to see a few really random things while walking around! On one front lawn was parked a truck, I thought that was an odd place to park a truck until I noticed the mailbox attached to the front! Also, my two companions and I stopped in front of a store and saw three dice on the ground showing the numbers 5, 6, and 1, what can it mean?! Oh, and we also found a white toque on a post...we didn't touch it...then we climbed a hill! All in all, even though we may not have had much opportunity to evangelise, I was happy to be able to spend some time in prayer for the homeless and I had some good conversations with my friends and the randomness was fun too! Sometimes I wish that I was a guy just so that I could be free to do more street evangelism but it was really fun to be involved in a group and I love being a girl! I thank the Lord for today =)

Sunday, 11 March 2012

Declare At DTBC!

So I just got back from an amazing weekend at David Thompson Bible Camp. Being on Declare, a tour team from PRBI, has given me many opportunities to visit different camps during the school year. This weekend was particularly relaxing and very fun. The girls that were in cabin 10 with Kimmie and I were so cool and I was encouraged by every single one of them. Even though I was only at camp for two days, I really felt like God was helping me to connect with the youth and teaching me a lot. I shared a bit of my testimony and how I felt that God was always disappointed in me because I could never do enough to please Him but then I realized how wrong I was to view God that way. He can't be disappointed in me because He has no expectations of me; I am putting unrealistic expectations on myself! Now this does not in any way give me an excuse to stop pursuing a relationship with Him (not that I would want to give that up), it just means that I don't have to beat myself up when I fail. I guess I just haven't yet learned to accept the fact that I am human, and humans fail, it's in our nature. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 really encouraged me and reminded me that it's ok to be weak. I praise God for His encouragement through the truth of His Word!

Thursday, 1 March 2012

A Lot To Ponder...

Oh life...it's crazy how the littlest changes in plans could have such a huge impact on someone's life. I thought I had this reading break planned out (sure there were some things that I was questioning in my head but for the most part I was at peace with the plan) and suddenly, plans had to change and it shook my inner world a little bit. The spiritual authorities in my life were challenging my decision and my ego did not like that. I felt angry and bitter inside...why can't I be trusted? I don't see the danger in the current plan, what could be wrong with it? I feel like I've failed before I've even started...and I want to rebel...what is going on inside of me?......Why am I fighting against those who know and care about me the most, who love me and want the best for me? Is four days really that big of a deal? Maybe...maybe not...all I know is that I must recognize that I am only 19 and there is much wisdom to learn from those who have lived longer than me and God's Word says that, "A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent." - Proverbs 15:5 So I will put aside my selfish pride and young know-it-all attitude and follow the Lord. :) And when I think about it...it's always better to be safe than sorry.