God Is With Us

I thought I was going to fail a class this past semester.

It was a really hard class to study for, and the class average was proving it.

I went into the final this past Wednesday with a 48 and had to get at least 52 on the final to pass.

The final came and went after 24+ hours of studying and lots of prayer and I felt terrible about it. I counted the multiple choice questions that I knew I had gotten correct and the tally was a mere 30 out of 120. 

So many thoughts were going through my head:

What if I fail? This class was a two-semester course which means I paid over $1000 for it and if I fail it would be a waste of God's resources that He has entrusted to me. 

What about my work? They agree to pay 40% of my tuition fees and if I failed this class I'd have to explain it to them and not get reimbursed. 

Lots of people at church know I'm in my second year and if I fail this class, they might challenge me to be less busy so I can focus on school more.

I would be pushed back a whole year of my program and have to take the class again...

The negative thoughts didn't end there, but I remembered that God is faithful and even if I did fail, it would still be ok. Life would go on, I could take some third year courses and maybe even some fourth year ones while I work full time to make some progress. While I attempted to gain some comfort from planning for failure, the negative thoughts still overwhelmed me to the point of tears. God doesn't want us to be discouraged (Deuteronomy 31:8). He wants us to trust Him. I tried my best while waiting for the marks to get back and they finally came Saturday.

My classmates love to text when marks are posted and, although I was checking at every chance I got, they still managed to inform me via text after I was done work. I tried to remain calm while checking my phone for the marks and I swiped the final page to reveal the outcome...I PASSED!!

Some of my co-workers witnessed my outburst of uncontrollable joyful shaking and celebrated with me even though they didn't know the situation...but I praised Jesus in their presence nonetheless.

I mean 53 is not a mark to brag about but it means that I got at least 60% on the final exam which I'm sure was impossible for me without God. 

Lots of friends and family were praying for me during this time and I appreciate you all! 

I am even more convinced now that God wants me to be a nurse and I know that I can trust Him to get me through the toughest classes for His glory. 

Heading into Spring semester, I know there are things that have to change in my life and I'll call them lessons I learned that require application:

- Time with God needs to come first everyday.

- I need to start exercising (and training for the 1/2 marathon I signed up for).

- Snacking must be a healthy need.

- Diligence is required for homework and studying.

- I need to do my best at all things for the glory of my gracious heavenly Father.

How to Date to Get Married

I discovered the following article yesterday and found it to be quite insightful, you'll find my response to the article below the link:

http://www.boundless.org/relationships/2015/how-to-date-to-get-married

From my childhood until a few years ago males, apart from my father and brothers, were not close friends of mine. I was (and still am in a lot of ways) one of those girls who just could not attract the attention of males even though I wanted it. My Dad told me in my high school years that I'm an intimidating person, an "off-limits" girl to most guys because they (rightly) presume that I have high moral standards and high standards for the guys I date. Now, while I like to think that I have reasonable standards or expectations for the guys that I date, not many guys have taken the risk to ask me out and I often wonder why?

I have only ever dated two guys.

The first one knew that I liked him because I made it very obvious and so I believe that helped him to feel confident enough  to ask me out. I had taken away the element of risk and I also ended up, to my dismay, leading much of the relationship in trying to pursue my boyfriend instead of letting him pursue me. I broke things off just shy of a year because things just weren't working. I had unrealistic expectations and was expecting this guy to change to fit my list of qualities. I did not appreciate him for who he was and other people who were observing our relationship agreed that things were not going well.

I met my second boyfriend on a blind date. If we had not been set up, I am not sure that this guy would have chosen to pursue me or that I would have said, "yes," to a date. I decided to give this guy a chance by trying to get to know him and, unfortunately, he was not what I expected. Unrealistic expectations again? I do not think so in this case because many of the people whom I respect and look to for advice were telling me to break things off so, after just about three months of dating, I did.

I have turned down a few guys on the strict basis that they were not Christians when they asked me out, but I have to say that I am impressed that they took the risk to ask.

I have tried to make sure that when I date I am doing so for the purpose of finding a spouse. This makes my interactions with guys limited and/or very difficult to manage. When I meet a guy, one of the first things I try to figure out is whether or not he is a Christian (a.k.a. follower of Christ). If so, I watch how he lives and decide that, if he were to ask me out, I will agree to get to know him. If he is not a Christian, I will decide that we will never be more than friends (unless he comes to faith) and if friendship blossoms, to use that as an opportunity to live out my faith and hopefully one day share the gospel with him. All that being said, I don't hang out with guys one-on-one and rarely in groups. I work with many guys and that is the most interaction that I have with non-family members of the opposite sex. These friendships are the hardest because I often find myself being drawn to their attention and attempting to impress them for my glory instead of focusing on glorifying God. It's a battle against sinful nature that I must learn to fight so as not to become the very things I detest.

If I do ever date again, I will try my best to put aside my list of "ideals" and focus on the person I am dating and evaluating our relationship while keeping the goal of a God-glorifying marriage in mind.

God may not call me to marriage, and that's ok. If He does, I want to be able to say with the author of the article (and my future spouse) that my reason for getting married is, "We loved each other, sensed God drawing us together, and wanted to live life with one another...Really, that's the only reason anyone should get married. Not because marriage is the fulfillment of some personal goal or life plan, but because God is calling you to love another person as Christ loves us - sacrificially and unconditionally."

Every Day Is Unique

It's true.

Just think about it...yesterday wasn't like today and you won't relive any of your days tomorrow.

So how are you making your days count?

Apart from the potential seriousness that could arise from the above question, let me tell you a bit about my day today...

I woke up with the intention of getting up early so that I could work but instead of taking a flying leap out of bed at 5:30am, I decided to press snooze until 6:07am. After cuddling my fluffy dog for an extra 5 minutes, I finally dragged myself out of my warm sleeping space into the cool, brisk air of my basement dwelling and further woke myself up with a shower. Time was then 6:30am. I finished putting mousse in my hair and touching up my make-up and so gracefully galloped up the stairs to search the kitchen for breakfast food items to satisfy my hungry stomach. Options were limited as the time was ticking so I poured myself a bowl of Strawberry Special K with about a 1/2 cup of extra added fibre, which supposedly makes you feel fuller for longer. Then I ate a chocolate chip cookie which had been baked the night before by yours truly. So with my hunger and sugar craving both successfully depleted, I grabbed my work essentials, which consisted of cookies, keys, and my water bottle, and I headed out the front door to my car because I had previously failed to arise in time to walk to CT.

I shall skip the 11 hours of work with a 40-minute lunch break somewhere in the middle because something more memorable and exciting happened today...

After arriving at home at about 7:15pm, I quickly made myself a roast beef sandwich and looked out the kitchen window. My oldest brother was attempting to start a fire in our fire bowl when all of the sudden I heard a commotion. A flame had hit the dead grass surrounding the pit and a small forest fire was growing and spreading in our backyard. I heard my brother say a calm, cool, and collected, "uh oh" before sprinting as fast as humanly possible into the house to grab the garden hose. If I wasn't trying to help put out the blaze, I would have video-taped it. It was quite the scene. Recipe for a backyard forest fire: Apparently my brother had tried to lightly sprinkle some gas onto the fire to make it burn faster but ended up lighting the gas can and then spilling it onto the grass. Missed the deck by 1 inch! The fire was out in less than 2 minutes but it left a nice, black, water-and-gas-soaked spot on the lawn.

Now I realize that a day like today will probably never happen again because my brother will most likely never try to start or fuel a fire in our backyard with gasoline again...hopefully.

Back to the seriousness from the beginning. There were a few key things missing from my day today, one of which was some time devoted to God. Let today be a lesson to me. I need Jesus. If I am claiming that He is who I live for, I need to prioritize in a way that proves my claim.

Thankfully, "The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:22-23