Friday, 23 September 2016

Blind Dates

A good friend and I had a chat about a potential blind date offered to her which caused me to explore my experience with the subject.

I've been on two blind dates in my life and here is what I have to say about them.

The first blind date I went on was set up by a trusted family friend. He told my Dad about the potential suitor and then my Dad passed the information on to me. At first I was ok with the idea as I strategically stalked the guy on facebook and was impressed with what I discovered about him. As the day when we would meet approached I became more and more apprehensive. What if he doesn't like me? What if I don't like him? What if I say or do something embarrassing? What if conversation doesn't flow? What if it's AWKWARD?? My Mom convinced me, perhaps because she wants grandkids someday, to "stop worrying already and take a risk." So, when the day came, I arrived 15 minutes early and sat in my car in the Western Pizza parking lot and tried to tell myself that everything was going to be fine. Instead my stomach was turning and my mind was bombarding me with more anxious inquisitions. Should I order iced tea? No, water is free. What if he orders water too? Would it be weird to order food? What kind of questions should I ask him? What if I talk too much? Oh! That must be him! He was indeed there. I recognized him from the pictures on facebook. Plus he walked into Western Pizza, which was where we were meeting. Guess I should get in there...


It went well! My family friend sat in with us to introduce us and then promptly left us to chat alone. We both ordered water. We both talked a lot and conversation flowed fairly easily. It led us to a second date, then a third, and then we were in a relationship. Not all blind dates end up in relationships though...

The second blind date I went on was set up by a trusted co-worker and friend of mine. She told me that she knew this great guy and thought maybe I would be interested in him. I told her, after a bit of facebook stalking, that I was willing to meet him and so she set up a time and place for all of us to hang out together. There was no anxiety leading up to the date this time. I arrived at the coffee shop 15 minutes early as per usual and my girlfriend showed up shortly afterward and we chatted while waiting for the guy, who showed up on time, unlike us women. That meeting also went really well and led to a second and third date but not into a relationship.

Both blind dates were successful because they served their purpose to determine whether a particular guy was a suitable match for me to best glorify God for the rest of my life with.

I also learned valuable lessons in both of these experiences.

Lesson 1: Take risks! There is no harm in meeting someone new and it is likely that they will be
                 feeling just as anxious and, if not, they probably have an understanding of what it's like to
                 be nervous for a blind date.
Lesson 2: Be gracious! If the other person embarrasses him or herself, don't make fun or judge them.
                 If they laugh it off, laugh with them. If they look ashamed, tell them it's ok and empathize.
Lesson 3: Ask questions! The purpose of a blind date is to get to know the other person to see if there
                 is potential for another date and so on and so forth as I mentioned before...to glorify God.
Lesson 4: Be yourself! The fastest way to get to know someone else genuinely is to be genuine, both
                on and offline.*

I prefer to get to know people the old-fashioned way by naturally developing friendships without the added pressure that a blind date piles on to get to know someone with a potential romantic relationship on the brain, but I'm also not opposed to blind dates because they've challenged me to take risks and be more confident in meeting new people.

*If you're wondering how I facebook stalk people without facebook...I have my sources :)

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