This post was inspired by a question I have been asked many times but once again most recently in conversation with a co-worker this past week, "Why won't you consider a romantic relationship with a man who does not believe the same things as you?"
In one sense, the answer is quite simple. But it prompts further explanation for those who do not share the same perspective as I do.
The first thing that I have to be clear about is that I am a Christian. I have a relationship with God and I believe what the Bible says is absolutely true. This means that I try to live my life in obedience to what God says and so proclaim that Jesus is Lord over all. In the world, my perspective puts me in a minor category as not many people share my beliefs though lots will claim that they do (read my previous post on the topic here).
That being explained leads me to move onto what the Bible says about dating or marrying someone who is not a Christian.
"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, 'I will make my dwelling among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.'" - 2 Corinthians 6:14-17
As I see the Bible as the authoritative source of truth in my life, I take what it says seriously. This passage explains that, as a believer in Christ and child of God, I have no partnership with those who do not believe. We would not have common life purpose, perspective, or goals, and that would create a lot of conflict and therefore a rather restless relationship. Also, I personally would ultimately be disobeying God which would damage my relationship with Him and I have no interest in doing that.
I have made mistakes in the past by entertaining relationships with men whom I would not "officially" date as I knew they were not Christians (or a believer not yet at a point in their faith to lead me) but I would give them hope by setting standards that they could meet to eventually win me over because I liked the attention, was attracted to their looks and/or personality, and honestly thought they had potential to be a good match for me as my husband in the future. I was selfish and I have left behind a trail of hurt and confusion.
One of my best friends told me something I will never forget. She said, "Jessica, every man has potential." I never considered this before and it will affect the way I respond to men who are interested in me in the future.
Lesson learned: If a man asks me out and I have any doubt about his beliefs or spiritual maturity (assuming I already know him), despite how attractive I might find him otherwise, I have a duty to say "no" for his good and mine.
In one sense, the answer is quite simple. But it prompts further explanation for those who do not share the same perspective as I do.
The first thing that I have to be clear about is that I am a Christian. I have a relationship with God and I believe what the Bible says is absolutely true. This means that I try to live my life in obedience to what God says and so proclaim that Jesus is Lord over all. In the world, my perspective puts me in a minor category as not many people share my beliefs though lots will claim that they do (read my previous post on the topic here).
That being explained leads me to move onto what the Bible says about dating or marrying someone who is not a Christian.
"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, 'I will make my dwelling among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.'" - 2 Corinthians 6:14-17
As I see the Bible as the authoritative source of truth in my life, I take what it says seriously. This passage explains that, as a believer in Christ and child of God, I have no partnership with those who do not believe. We would not have common life purpose, perspective, or goals, and that would create a lot of conflict and therefore a rather restless relationship. Also, I personally would ultimately be disobeying God which would damage my relationship with Him and I have no interest in doing that.
I have made mistakes in the past by entertaining relationships with men whom I would not "officially" date as I knew they were not Christians (or a believer not yet at a point in their faith to lead me) but I would give them hope by setting standards that they could meet to eventually win me over because I liked the attention, was attracted to their looks and/or personality, and honestly thought they had potential to be a good match for me as my husband in the future. I was selfish and I have left behind a trail of hurt and confusion.
One of my best friends told me something I will never forget. She said, "Jessica, every man has potential." I never considered this before and it will affect the way I respond to men who are interested in me in the future.
Lesson learned: If a man asks me out and I have any doubt about his beliefs or spiritual maturity (assuming I already know him), despite how attractive I might find him otherwise, I have a duty to say "no" for his good and mine.
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