About dating...yes, it's time I threw a few things out there because I have learned a lot, especially having dated someone and broke up for good reason.
Now I've read a number of Christian books about dating over the past five years or so...here are some (there are too many to list them all) pearls that I have gathered and my responses to each.
Holding Hands Holding Hearts: Recovering a Biblical View of Christian Dating
By Richard D. & Sharon L. Phillips
“This is what it means to entrust ourselves to God; we take our refuge in him and acknowledge that he alone can provide the blessings we desire. It also means that though we possess everything we desire, without God we will never be satisfied.”
The truth be told.
“Intimacy follows commitment, and a woman should not offer increased intimacy - time spent together, sharing of the heart, little acts of helping ministry - without increased commitment from the man…It may involve yielding to a man’s sexual advances or just baking cookies for him. There is a big difference between the two, but the spirit is the same: the woman thinks that she has to sell herself to gain the love of a man. Instead, a Christian woman should look to God to provide for her needs and show the self-respect that demands a man to step forward in commitment before she steps out into new intimacy.”
This speaks to me so clearly now that I look back on the relationship that I was in. I was fighting, trying so hard to win love and affection from my boyfriend that I missed the part about looking to God to provide. I only wanted to be pursued. The next man that I date will be making the first moves. If he wants me, he will fight for me.
“If we are ever to be content - and with contentment to have true joy - it will come only through our relationship with the Lord our God.”
Oh have I learned this. Not completely of course, but I know that when I am in the presence of God I am joyful.
“...if you have time, give it to Jesus. Devote yourself to studying his Word and to developing strong habits of prayer and worship.”
Work in progress.
I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Towards Romance and Relationships
By Joshua Harris
“God gives us singleness - a season of our lives unmatched in its boundless opportunities for growth, learning, and service”
I must take this into account. I am as free now as I'll ever be.
“The world will know we follow Christ by the way we love others. For this reason, we must practice love as God defines it - sincere, servant-hearted, and selfless - not the world’s brand of selfish and sensual love based on what feels good.”
A point missed in today's society. I must fight my natural human tendencies to selfishness.
“God has made each of us with a desire for intimacy, and He intends to fulfill it. While we’re single He doesn’t expect these longings to disappear, but I believe He asks us to have the patience to wait and, in the meantime, seek close relationships with family and friends and deep, non-romantic relationships with brothers and sisters in the Lord."
Patience...must develop patience and enjoy my friends and family.
“In brother-sister relationships, men and women spur each other on to godliness - they stand against wickedness together, they seek God together, they honour one another and grow in grace side by side.”
Where are my brothers at?
“As we evaluate someone’s character (including our own), we need to carefully observe three areas - how the individual relates to God, the way he or she treats others, and the way this person disciplines his or her personal life. These areas are like windows into a person’s character.”
My eyes are open.
When God Writes Your Love Story
By Eric & Leslie Ludy
“Sometimes in a relationship, we can be so caught up in our feelings for the other person that we squeeze God into the background. It becomes a confusing, emotional mess, and we wonder why God isn’t giving us more direction, when all the while He is there, waiting to be allowed back into first place in out hearts. Only when He is truly in first place are we ready for a God-written love story.”
De-ja-vu much.
“Intimate family relationships are among the most difficult things we must deal with as humans, because closeness leads to the exposure of who we really are, inside and outside…I guarantee you, that if you train yourself to model Christ now to those most familiar and close, you will be superb at it when you get married.”
This is no cake walk. I have found that to truly love my family, I have to fight against myself constantly. I think it's about time I asked God for some help.
Now I have read a few other books on dating and this is just a taste of what I have picked out and reviewed so far. I will most definitely add to this post in the near future. As a last statement for now, I would recommend to either girls or guys the following link if you are interested in reading some really good information about guy-girl relationships in general. Just click the link, download the guides, and enjoy a great read.<https://focusonthefamily.webconnex.com/bound-pt>
Now I've read a number of Christian books about dating over the past five years or so...here are some (there are too many to list them all) pearls that I have gathered and my responses to each.
Holding Hands Holding Hearts: Recovering a Biblical View of Christian Dating
By Richard D. & Sharon L. Phillips
“This is what it means to entrust ourselves to God; we take our refuge in him and acknowledge that he alone can provide the blessings we desire. It also means that though we possess everything we desire, without God we will never be satisfied.”
The truth be told.
“Intimacy follows commitment, and a woman should not offer increased intimacy - time spent together, sharing of the heart, little acts of helping ministry - without increased commitment from the man…It may involve yielding to a man’s sexual advances or just baking cookies for him. There is a big difference between the two, but the spirit is the same: the woman thinks that she has to sell herself to gain the love of a man. Instead, a Christian woman should look to God to provide for her needs and show the self-respect that demands a man to step forward in commitment before she steps out into new intimacy.”
This speaks to me so clearly now that I look back on the relationship that I was in. I was fighting, trying so hard to win love and affection from my boyfriend that I missed the part about looking to God to provide. I only wanted to be pursued. The next man that I date will be making the first moves. If he wants me, he will fight for me.
“If we are ever to be content - and with contentment to have true joy - it will come only through our relationship with the Lord our God.”
Oh have I learned this. Not completely of course, but I know that when I am in the presence of God I am joyful.
“...if you have time, give it to Jesus. Devote yourself to studying his Word and to developing strong habits of prayer and worship.”
Work in progress.
I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Towards Romance and Relationships
By Joshua Harris
“God gives us singleness - a season of our lives unmatched in its boundless opportunities for growth, learning, and service”
I must take this into account. I am as free now as I'll ever be.
“The world will know we follow Christ by the way we love others. For this reason, we must practice love as God defines it - sincere, servant-hearted, and selfless - not the world’s brand of selfish and sensual love based on what feels good.”
A point missed in today's society. I must fight my natural human tendencies to selfishness.
“God has made each of us with a desire for intimacy, and He intends to fulfill it. While we’re single He doesn’t expect these longings to disappear, but I believe He asks us to have the patience to wait and, in the meantime, seek close relationships with family and friends and deep, non-romantic relationships with brothers and sisters in the Lord."
Patience...must develop patience and enjoy my friends and family.
“In brother-sister relationships, men and women spur each other on to godliness - they stand against wickedness together, they seek God together, they honour one another and grow in grace side by side.”
Where are my brothers at?
“As we evaluate someone’s character (including our own), we need to carefully observe three areas - how the individual relates to God, the way he or she treats others, and the way this person disciplines his or her personal life. These areas are like windows into a person’s character.”
My eyes are open.
When God Writes Your Love Story
By Eric & Leslie Ludy
“Sometimes in a relationship, we can be so caught up in our feelings for the other person that we squeeze God into the background. It becomes a confusing, emotional mess, and we wonder why God isn’t giving us more direction, when all the while He is there, waiting to be allowed back into first place in out hearts. Only when He is truly in first place are we ready for a God-written love story.”
De-ja-vu much.
“Intimate family relationships are among the most difficult things we must deal with as humans, because closeness leads to the exposure of who we really are, inside and outside…I guarantee you, that if you train yourself to model Christ now to those most familiar and close, you will be superb at it when you get married.”
This is no cake walk. I have found that to truly love my family, I have to fight against myself constantly. I think it's about time I asked God for some help.
Now I have read a few other books on dating and this is just a taste of what I have picked out and reviewed so far. I will most definitely add to this post in the near future. As a last statement for now, I would recommend to either girls or guys the following link if you are interested in reading some really good information about guy-girl relationships in general. Just click the link, download the guides, and enjoy a great read.<https://focusonthefamily.webconnex.com/bound-pt>
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