Open My Hands by Sara Groves

I believe in a blessing I don't understand
I've seen rain fall on the wicked and the just
Rain is no measure of His faithfulness
He withholds no good thing from us
No good thing from us, no good thing from us

I believe in a peace that flows deeper than pain
The broken find healing in love
Pain is no measure of His faithfulness
He withholds no good thing from us
No good thing from us, no good thing from us

I will open my hands will open my heart
I will open my hands will open my heart
I am nodding my head an emphatic yes
To all that You have for me

I believe in a fountain that will never dry
Though I've thirsted and didn't have enough
Thirst is no measure of His faithfulness
He withholds no good thing from us
No good thing from us, no good thing from us

I will open my hands will open my heart
I will open my hands will open my heart
I am nodding my head an emphatic yes
To all that You have for me

No good thing from us, no good thing from us
He withholds no good thing from us

I will open my hands will open my heart
I will open my hands will open my heart
I am nodding my head an emphatic yes
To all that You have for me

20

Oh 20...
The age that determined that people at Bible college were old...it was my thing...
The age that my Mom uses as a weapon to make me more mature...it never really works...
The age that says that you are no longer a teenager...
The age that means you have been alive for two decades...give or take nine months...
The age that almost brings a sadness to my heart...I am not a kid anymore...
The age that makes me wish I was still 19...
The age that I am as of today.

Weak Man by Leeland

Jesus, give me Your heart

Let there be a death in me
I'm making room for all that You are
Give me Your heart

Jesus, give me Your heart
Break me down, build me up
Let who I was keep falling apart
Give me Your heart

My Creator, oh my Creator

May I be low, low, low so You're made higher
May I be low, low, low so You're made higher
And I'll be weak for You are strong
Weak for You are strong in the weak man

Jesus, give me Your heart
Burn away all the drugs
Come on, let the fire start
Give me Your heart

My Creator, oh my Creator

May I be low, low, low so You're made higher
May I be low, low, low so You're made higher
And I'll be weak for You are strong
Weak for You are strong in the weak man

I wanna make You higher
Lord, it's my heart's desire, oh
I wanna make You higher

May I be low, low so You're made higher
May I be low, low, low so You're made higher
And I'll be weak for You are strong
Weak for You are strong

May I be low, low, low so You're made higher
May I be low, low, low so You're made higher
And I'll be weak for You are strong
Weak for You are strong, weak for You are strong
In the weak man, yeah, in the weak man

The Practice of Godliness

One of the many questions that I would like to ask God is what is my part in working out my salvation? How much character building depends on my efforts?

The funny thing about that question is that I already know part of the answer:

Philippians 2:12-13
"Therefore my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure."

Of course as humans we must come to understand and know that we cannot know everything. Which can definitely be frustrating for Christians, especially when we are trying so hard to do life right but just don't know how. We want to become more like God and yet we cannot know everything about Him. So what does working for God's good pleasure look like in our daily lives?

Note: I do not have this cased, this post is merely to encourage and shed a bit of light on the subject.

As the title suggests, yes, I am going to refer to a book called, "The Practice of Godliness" by Jerry Bridges.
Now I am going to list the characteristics that are mentioned in this book and simply add some (there are way more than what I have provided!) scripture references next to each one in order to explore how each one is cultivated in our lives.

Humility - "Everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." Luke 18:14
- "You may say to yourself, 'My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.' But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today" Deuteronomy 8:17-18
- "Honor one another above yourselves" Romans 12:10
- "Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another" 1 Peter 5:5

Contentment - "Godliness with contentment is great gain." 1 Timothy 6:6
- "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions" Luke 12:15
- "Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith that God has given you" Romans 12:3
- "I can do everything through him who gives me strength" Philippians 4:13

Thankfulness - "Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations." Psalm 100:4-5
- "Praise the LORD. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. Who can proclaim the mighty acts of the LORD or fully declare his praise?" Psalm 106:1-2
- "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" Philippians 4:6
- "Just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness" Colossians 2:6-7

Joy - "The kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." Romans 14:17
- "Rejoice always" 1 Thessalonians 5:16
- "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice." Philippians 4:4
- "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" Romans 15:13
       - "Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength" Nehemiah 8:10

Holiness - "Be holy, because I am holy" 1 Peter 1:16
- "This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all." 1 John 1:5
- "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" Romans 12:2
- "For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age" Titus 2:11-12

Self-Control - "Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control." Proverbs 25:28
- "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me" Luke 9:23
- "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31
- "We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" 2 Corinthians 10:5
- "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" Proverbs 4:23
- "Think of yourself with sober judgment" Romans 12:3
           
Faithfulness - "Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?" Proverbs 20:6
- "The LORD is faithful to all his promises" Psalm 145:13
- "The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful" Proverbs 12:22
- "As vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes, so is a sluggard to those who send him" Proverbs 10:26
- "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!" Matthew 25:21
- "Be faithful, even to the point of death" Revelation 2:10

Peace - "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Romans 12:18
- "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have 
trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" John 16:33
- "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
- "Strive for peace with everyone" Hebrews 12:13

Patience - "Clothe yourselves with...patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances
you may have against one another." Colossians 3:12-13
- "Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good." 1 Peter 4:19
- "for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in time of calamity." Proverbs 24:16
- "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace" Ephesians 4:2-3
- "We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised" Hebrews 6:12

Gentleness - "The fruit of the Spirit is...gentleness" Galatians 5:22-23
- "Clothe yourselves with...gentleness" Colossians 3:12
- "Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near" Philippians 4:5
- "But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere." James 3:17

Kindness and Goodness - "Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially those who belong to the family of believers." Galatians 6:10
- "But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil." Luke 6:3
- "We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10
- "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9
- "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms" 1 Peter 4:10

Love - "Over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Colossians 3:14
- "Anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother" 1 John 4:20-21
- "Above all, love each other deeply" 1 Peter 4:8
- "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us." 1 John 3:16
- "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love" Romans 12:10
- "May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else,  just as ours does for you" 1 Thessalonians 3:12

Jerry Bridges goes into depth and describes the practicality of cultivating each of these character traits into our Christian lives. I was personally very challenged by this book and I noticed that in the scripture references above, we certainly do have responsibility to put the work and effort into developing these character traits in ourselves. Yes, God definitely plays a huge role, but we are not let off the hook at all! May we continue to persevere to work out our salvation with fear and trembling while relying on God.

Into Your Mercy by Garth Bostic

I'm a path that's been beaten but no one walks
I've been looking for some answers but no one talks
I've done things I wish I couldn't remember
My God I need you to carry me...

Out of my prison and out of my chains
Out of my burdens and into your mercy
Out of my worries and out of my pain
Out of my fears and into your mercy
Out of my past and out of my shame
Out of my mourning and into your mercy
Into your mercy

I've got stains that nothing I try can get out
I've got hope but it's pulled by the weight of my doubt
But all my faults your grace will never remember
My God I'm free; you carry me...

Out of my prison and out of my chains
Out of my burdens and into your mercy
Out of my worries and out of my pain
Out of my fears and into your mercy
Out of my past and out of my shame
Out of my mourning and into your mercy
Into your mercy

You're the only one

Who is worthy to forgive

You're the only one

Who takes my end and then begins

You're the only one 

Who can set this hostage free

My God, I believe; and you carry me...

Out of my prison and out of my chains
Out of my burdens and into your mercy
Out of my worries and out of my pain
Out of my fears and into your mercy
Out of my past and out of my shame
Out of my mourning and into your mercy
Into your mercy

A Sample of My Dreams

You may have thought by the title of this post that I would be talking about the kind of dream that someone may have for the future. This post is actually about a dream I had last night. This is how it went...(note that everything in brackets is for the purpose of explanation, not part of the dream)

My boyfriend and I went to Petsmart just for fun and when we got there, my boyfriend decided that he would go off and do something else. I think he tried explaining to me what he was doing but I was too interested in the puppies to notice. In this box full of hay there were siberian huskie-german shepherd cross puppies! They were adorable (German shepherds are my favourite kind of dog and huskie is a close second)! Most of them looked like definite mixes but there was one pure siberian huskie and one pure german shepherd. The pure huskie was light grey with bright blue eyes and the pure german shepherd had brown eyes. I quickly called my Mom to ask her if I could have a puppy because they were free! I talked to my Mom and she agreed that I could have a puppy if I would pay the expenses for it (shots, food, care in general). Without a second to waste, I picked up the pure german shepherd puppy and headed around the store to find some puppy food. While walking, I checked and saw that my puppy was a girl. I tried to think of some names but none were good enough to stick yet. I probably walked the aisles in search of puppy food three or four times before I asked a young man for help. He assured me that he had re-stocked the puppy food a couple of days ago and he brought me to...puppy diapers. I was thinking about explaining that diapers are not food but I decided to try and find someone else. Eventually I gave up the search because of all the crazy brand names and packages that did not seem to make any sense. I went outside and found my boyfriend wearing a bright orange and yellow safety vest, putting carts away. I had no idea he worked there! I think he might have been volunteering. Anyways, I got my puppy. The End.

That is just a mild sample of my weird and wacky dreams :) hope you enjoyed it!

Hope For More!

So I just officially attended my very first Jeremy Camp concert out at my Uncle Harold and Auntie Diane's ranch! It was such a cool experience! I definitely felt the Spirit moving today. When Jeremy Camp sang, "There Will Be A Day," I was crying tears of joy and being filled with a renewed hope from the LORD. I am truly blessed. 

My First Half-Marathon!

Earlier this year my Mom and I decided to sign up to run the half-marathon. Unfortunately my Mom was having some serious knee issues and decided that the best thing for her to do would be to drop out of the half-marathon. So then I had a decision to make, and obviously by the title of this post, I decided to run. Just two weeks ago I began having some knee issues too! The outside of my left knee randomly started to ache. I decided to just ice it and ignore it and continue to train. It got worse. So for the past week I have been resting it and not running in hopes that it would be ok for the marathon. When I got up this morning I grabbed my gear, put some Deep Relief on my knee and headed out. When the race started my knee was fine but at about the 5k mark it started to ache. I decided right then and there that I would run non-stop for the rest of the race, fully aware that if I did stop, it would be even more painful. Thankfully I couldn't feel the pain anymore by the 13k mark and so I pushed through. I was counting down the kilometers, praying as I went that God would sustain me because I knew that there was no way that I could finish this on my own. My goal was to cross the finish line before the 2 hour mark and I was at 1:51 at 20k. I just kept on running at my gradually slowing pace and when I saw the finish line I gave it all I had and sprinted in. I came in at 1:58 and reached my goal. I praise the Lord for the strength that He gave and am looking forward to running with my Mom next year. :)

Ignorance

Oh my ignorance...to be a truly dreadfully honest Christian girl, I am very ignorant. I would say it is completely natural to be ignorant but that would be an excuse...a straight out lie even. A quote that I like to use often is "Ignorance is Bliss" which is definitely true, especially in the midst of awkward situations. But when it comes to my relationship with God, ignorance is absolutely NOT bliss. But it is in fact stupidity and selfishness. I have been ignorant of God many times, even while working as an intern at my church. I feel shame to even think about it, but it is the truth. Devotions? What are those? If you watched my life (and you wouldn't even have to be God to see this) you would maybe see me pick up my Bible to prepare a lesson for  the kids at church and maybe to read something for the message on a Sunday morning and possibly once in a while because I feel like reading God's Word (a rare occasion unfortunately). Does all this mean that I am not a Christian and that I don't love God and want to do His will? No, I don't think so. In fact I often have a strong desire to read God's Word, but it is all a great dream in my head and it often doesn't go much further than that. Why is it that I can make the time to run every day but not make the time for God? Ignorance. I think maybe I have gotten into some harmful thinking patterns like, "It's ok to be ignorant, God still loves me!" or "I'm proving that God is awesome because He is faithful to me even when I am not!" (I prove that second one a lot). While both of those thoughts are completely true, neither of them are valid excuses for me not to be deliberately investing in my relationship with God. If I can make time for so many other people and things in my life, and God is supposed to be the most important, why can't I make God a priority? Well, I already know that I cannot do anything by my own strength. But I know that to be a truly devoted Christian I have to put in some effort. This is not the first time I have come to recognize my ignorance, I have known of it for quite a long time now. I just pray that by God's grace I can live and grow as He desires and that I would be able to set patterns of devotion that cannot be broken by my selfish ignorance. After all, everything I have is given to me by God, and that includes my time...

Running in Rain

Training for a half-marathon is hard work, but the weather makes it fun. This morning I began my run at 6:00am and the sky was a light shade of pink covering a dark grey cloud. I figured that it would rain eventually but I wasn't sure. Either way, I was going to run. I was about halfway through my run when the sky began to sprinkle. With 5km to go, I pushed through and by the end the rain had begun to pour and I was drenched when I got home. The best part of the run was not the finish, it was the middle, when I got to see lightning flash across the sky; talk about the power of God!

      "For I know that the LORD is great,
            and that our Lord is above all gods.
       Whatever the LORD pleases, he does,
            in heaven and on earth,
            in the seas and all deeps.
       He it is who makes the clouds rise at the end of the earth,
            who makes lightnings for the rain
            and brings forth the wind from his storehouses." - Psalm 135:5-7

A List of Things I Love

(in no particular order)
- my Lord Jesus Christ
- hot chocolate after a cold winter outing
- the smell of fresh rain
- driving through mountains and/or forests
- the smell of a fresh spring morning
- preparing a gourmet meal
- road trips with clear skies
- horseback riding anywhere
- early mornings to greet the sunrise
- sunsets in Saskatchewan
- watching the stars in a farmer's wheat field
- dreaming of my wedding day
- playing music for my Lord
- the colours blue and green
- a wide open field of grass
- the smell of freshly baked bread
- holding a newborn baby
- the soft touch of a baby's skin
- when cute kids start to talk
- swimming in a lake with goggles (the mask type)
- singing on worship team
- a clean and organized space
- baking
- being creative and crafty
- adventures in the wilderness with friends
- canoeing, kayaking, boating, fishing
- playing soccer and badminton
- a good run
- family vacations anywhere
- VBS!
- babysitting
- campfires
- dressing up for special occasions
- watching TV (home makeovers, food channel etc.)
- playing adventure video games (Zelda, Spyro)
- going for walks
- getting surprises
- drinking tea on a cool day/evening
- reading a good book
- building snow forts
- cleaning up and making things look good
- chocolate
- cranking the tunes!
- listening to the life stories of others
- Hillsdale Baptist Church
- reading God's Word in a quiet place
- German Shepherd dogs
- good shoes!
- a good story
- the feeling of smooth skin after a shave
- being clean
- observing wildlife
- taking trips down memory lane
- imagining
- solving puzzles and mysteries (Nancy Drew)
- a good hairstyle
- wearing my cross
- matching my clothes
- dates with God (especially early morning ones)
- playing crib and other games
- walking or swimming in the rain
- watching a thunder storm (preferably with lightening)
- when the power goes out
- sushi
- late night trips to Wal-Mart
- knowing what time it is
- rainbows
- the seasons spring and fall
- spring and fall colours
- outdoor BBQ meals
- hanging out with good friends
- being warm and cozy
- soft and fuzzy things
- iced tea and salt and vinegar chips
- ice cream from DQ
- feeling with others
- a good picture
- dragonflies
- suspenseful movies
- hanging with my siblings
- getting mail (especially letters)
- waking up to a new day
- surprising others with thoughtful gifts or notes
- a hug from a friend when I need it (or even when I don't)
- a good cookbook with lots of pictures
- randomness
- healthy eating
- water
- a bubblebath once in a while
- a massage
- serving others
- behind the scenes tasks
- pouring out my heart to God
- bright white lightbulbs
- breakfast
- hair elastics, bobby pins and lululemon headbands
- being naturally tan
- harmonizing when I sing
- good smelling shampoo, lotion, deodorant and perfume
- having blonde hair and blue eyes
- lounging around in comfy clothes
- decorating food
- when things go as planned
- 1000 piece puzzles
- shopping at Costco!
- www.boundless.org
- a challenge
- Yankee candles
- learning new things
- the smell of gasoline
- comfy furniture
- dreaming of decorating my own home someday
- organizing things
- having clear skin
- pretty things
- a good laugh
- when people smile
- camping in a tent
- catching up with old friends
- writing in notebooks with my best printing/handwriting
- bubble wrap
- climbing a mountain and watching the sun rise over the clouds
- sharpies
- trying new foods
- candy (only once in a while)
- Christmas time with family
- lying out in the sun
- Veggietales!
- adrenaline rush
- roller coasters
- Julian Smith videos
- my gold rings
- my steak cooked rare
- being debt free
- moments of silence
- praising my God for all of the above!

Nice Sunny Morning

What do you do on a beautiful sunny morning? Well, go for a walk with God of course! It was wonderful walking on the path, feeling the slight breeze and observing the amazing greenery outside! God is so awesome! I couldn't have prayed for a better morning to spend with my Heavenly Father. I am looking forward to many more days like this...

To Bike?

Oh Daniel...I just love my little brother, he really knows how to make a person feel wanted :)
Today just before supper Daniel asked me if I would go on a bike ride with him, this is how our conversation went...

Daniel: "Jessica! Wanna go on a bike ride?"

Myself: "Umm Daniel, I don't have a bike."

Daniel: "You can ride this one!"

(Daniel points to a big silver bike hanging from the garage ceiling)

Myself: "I don't have a bike Daniel."

Daniel: "Can you get this one down?"

Myself: "I forgot how to ride a bike."

(Mom quickly informs Daniel that people don't ever forget how to ride a bike)

Daniel: "Jess, get the bike down!"

(I try, really I do but it's just too tricky for me)

Myself: "I can't get it Daniel, it's too heavy, plus the tires are flat."

Daniel: "Daddy! We need your strong muscles to work out here!"

(Dad eventually comes and gets the bike down, I'm not all that enthused about it)

Myself: "Thank you Daddy..."

Daniel: "Here's the pump! Pump up the tires so you can ride it!"

(I pump up both tires...)

Daniel: "Now I'll find you a helmet!"

(He does...)

So we went on a short bike ride before supper. How could I resist? He practically left me with no excuses, plus he's really cute and I love my little brother :)

Hiding

Oh why can't we hide our sin? God knows all, everything about us, all the time (Psalm 139).

I am so glad that people don't know what is going on inside me.

People don't react the way that God does.

His love and acceptance is unconditional.

But you never know how people are going to react to your sin.

Being a people pleaser makes life hard.

I have a really hard time communicating my desires.

I am always afraid that the people that I desire things from are going to shut me down or worse...disappiont me when I expect them to care.

So I hide.

Pretend that everything is ok.

Stay in my comfort zone because it's safe.

I crave freedom.

The freedom to express my true feelings and desires.

Lord help me.

Because only You know (Psalm 139).

Beautiful Day

I woke up this morning and looked up at my curtains. There was light shining through the window so the sun was likely shining for the basement doesn't get that much light through the windows often. After some time with God I decided that I would go for a run. When I got outside, everything was beautiful! The sun was indeed shining, the colours were vibrant! A brilliant blue sky and lush green grass...God is so good! To run felt great, I thank God for the health that He has given me. He continues to bless me as I think of the ways that He has gifted me for ministry, maybe it's time to move on from Canadian Tire and find a job that better suits my gifting so that I can serve the Lord to the fullest capacity possible. Now is the time to wait upon the Lord :)

God is Good!

Today I was praying to God about a lot of different things but mostly about how much of a failure I am in living a life honouring to Him. I live life as if it is all about me and the things that I do each day. Well, despite my discouragement this morning, God certainly came through and spoke very clearly to me and this is what He showed me...

Psalm 107

¹ Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
his love endures forever.

² Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story—
those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,
³ those he gathered from the lands,
from east and west, from north and south.^[a]

⁴ Some wandered in desert wastelands,
finding no way to a city where they could settle.
⁵ They were hungry and thirsty,
and their lives ebbed away.
⁶ Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
⁷ He led them by a straight way
to a city where they could settle.
⁸ Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
⁹ for he satisfies the thirsty
and fills the hungry with good things.

¹⁰ Some sat in darkness, in utter darkness,
prisoners suffering in iron chains,
¹¹ because they rebelled against God’s commands
and despised the plans of the Most High.
¹² So he subjected them to bitter labor;
they stumbled, and there was no one to help.
¹³ Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.
¹⁴ He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness,
and broke away their chains.
¹⁵ Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
¹⁶ for he breaks down gates of bronze
and cuts through bars of iron.

¹⁷ Some became fools through their rebellious ways
and suffered affliction because of their iniquities.
¹⁸ They loathed all food
and drew near the gates of death.
¹⁹ Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.
²⁰ He sent out his word and healed them;
he rescued them from the grave.
²¹ Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for mankind.
²² Let them sacrifice thank offerings
and tell of his works with songs of joy.

²³ Some went out on the sea in ships;
they were merchants on the mighty waters.
²⁴ They saw the works of the Lord,
his wonderful deeds in the deep.
²⁵ For he spoke and stirred up a tempest
that lifted high the waves.
²⁶ They mounted up to the heavens and went down to the depths;
in their peril their courage melted away.
²⁷ They reeled and staggered like drunkards;
they were at their wits’ end.
²⁸ Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
and he brought them out of their distress.
²⁹ He stilled the storm to a whisper;
the waves of the sea^[b] were hushed.
³⁰ They were glad when it grew calm,
and he guided them to their desired haven.
³¹ Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for mankind.
³² Let them exalt him in the assembly of the people
and praise him in the council of the elders.

³³ He turned rivers into a desert,
flowing springs into thirsty ground,
³⁴ and fruitful land into a salt waste,
because of the wickedness of those who lived there.
³⁵ He turned the desert into pools of water
and the parched ground into flowing springs;
³⁶ there he brought the hungry to live,
and they founded a city where they could settle.
³⁷ They sowed fields and planted vineyards
that yielded a fruitful harvest;
³⁸ he blessed them, and their numbers greatly increased,
and he did not let their herds diminish.

³⁹ Then their numbers decreased, and they were humbled
by oppression, calamity and sorrow;
⁴⁰ he who pours contempt on nobles
made them wander in a trackless waste.
⁴¹ But he lifted the needy out of their affliction
and increased their families like flocks.
⁴² The upright see and rejoice,
but all the wicked shut their mouths.

⁴³ Let the one who is wise heed these things
and ponder the loving deeds of the Lord.

Do I need to say anymore? God is soo good! It was not just coincidence that this passage was in my devotions this morning. This was my Heavenly Father showing me Himself in a personal way! I love You LORD!

A New Perspective

You know those Bible passages that you read once and in the moment you're like, "Oh that's good stuff! I should remember this!" Then later, when you really need the encouragement from the passage you can't seem to recall it? Well I've been reading "Conformed to His Image" by Kenneth Boa lately and let me tell you, there are a lot of good Bible passages referenced in there! I was really discouraged these past couple of weeks with my relationship with God, I was not focused on Him, I was being ungrateful and discontented. I was failing to recognize or acknowledge how good God is! One quote that I read this morning that I want to highlight from Boa's book is, "Our daily choices shape our habits, and our habits shape our character. Our character in turn guides the decisions we make in times of stress, temptation, and adversity. In this way, the godly actions of maturing believers are outward displays of increasing inner beauty." But one of the most important things that I often forget is that life isn't about me! I just cannot believe how much God continues to pour out His blessing on me even though I am so unfaithful! I may be on another spiritual high for now but I know that God is always working and he will continue to do so! :) Praise the LORD!!

Declare Tour!!

I just finished a two week tour with a tour team called Declare. We travelled across Alberta, Saskatchewan and Manitoba visiting different churches, hangin with the youth and representing our school. It was a great time with nine members packed into a fifteen seater van; needless to say we felt much like a big family at the end of our tour. It's hard to stay focused on ministry when you're feeling tired and the days are non-stop but God is good and He sustained us all. God blessed us with excellent billets, safe travels, and encouragement. Often it felt like we weren't doing much for the people we visited but many people said that they were blessed by our team and wanted to have us back sometime. I think that it was a great way to end off my last year of Bible College. Thank you team! You were all wonderful and I really appreciated getting to know all of you and serving alongside you!

The Journey of a Girl

Once upon a time, there was a 15 year old Christian girl named Jessica. Now this girl had a dream. She was going to begin dating a Christian boy when she was 16 and then marry that boy and they would live happily ever after together. Jessica thought that her dream was ideal and perfectly possible. But she overlooked a couple of details...

1. God was in control.

2. She had to wait for a good Christian boy to ask her out.

Now fast forward to the Summer. Jessica made a good guy friend. Her first close guy friend, in fact. He treated her like all her friends treated her. They texted each other, saw each other at church, and even began phoning each other while Jessica was babysitting. Jessica got to know this guy pretty well and she shared a lot of deep emotional things with him and he shared back equally. This attention that Jessica was getting thrilled her, she was floored that this guy would want to be her friend and spend so much time chatting with her. In fact, Jessica spent so much time chatting with and texting this guy that her parents began to wonder about this friendship. They suggested that Jessica stop using her phone to communicate with this guy for awhile. She really did not like that idea and neither did the guy but they listened...for only two weeks and then they were back at it full force. By this time Jessica was 16 and things got really deep and this guy soon wanted to date Jessica, but when he asked her Dad...

Jessica did not really know the details of what happened but she was soon in tears hearing the apologies of this guy who was once one of her closest friends. She never saw him again after that...

Jessica's dream came crashing down and as she finished high school at age 17 and headed off to Bible College, she was determined to chase after God and guys would not get in her way. She did not think God wanted her to have a boyfriend for a long time anyways.

During her first year Jessica got to know lots of great people and even had a few good guy friends whom she was determined to treat as her brothers in Christ and nothing more. Yes, she was liked by a couple of guys but she was not ready for a serious relationship and she only saw these guys as solid brothers in Christ (and she still does). She found herself quite distracted from God by a few guys and she was determined to change that for her second year.

Jessica wanted to make sure that she avoided being distracted by guys during her second year. She wanted to be like her mentor back at home, do two years of Bible school, then become a Registered Nurse and then God would maybe provide a husband. This plan Jessica didn’t mind so much since her mentor was a very godly woman; she was happy to follow in her footsteps. Little did Jessica know that God was going to change her plan.

Yup, within the first month of her second year of Bible school Jessica was unexpectedly distracted by a certain godly blue eyed blonde guy named Matthew. The weirdest part was that she was not sure where her feelings were coming from. After talking to a couple of good friends, Jessica decided to try and get to know Matthew as a friend by making small talk, asking him about his homework and hanging out in the same friend group.

The middle part is complicated because of a lot of mixed emotions and figuring stuff out but the end result was that Matthew ended up asking Jessica to be his girlfriend and she said yes!

Things have not been easy for Jessica and Matthew but they are trusting God and slowly (and joyfully) getting to know each other day by day. Things did not work out the way that Jessica dreamed but she is very glad for God’s work, her current relationship was worth the wait. 

Of fear and little brothers...Part 2

Now here is the story of my revenge... :)
About 6 years after being scared out of my mind because my little brother decided to jump out of my closet, I found an opportunity to get him back.

One hot Summer afternoon at about 1:45pm, I got home from work at Canadian Tire. Usually I would get home at about 2:30pm but I just happened to be early that day. When I arrived home, I noted that both of my parent's vehicles were gone, which suggested that nobody was home. So when I opened the front door and walked in, I automatically assumed that I was the only person in the house. That's when I heard my three brothers' voices coming from the basement. Here's what I heard...

Alexander (13) "You guys quiet! I think I heard the front door!"
Landon (7) "Yeah Daniel! Shhh!"
Daniel (4) "Heeheehee"

As soon as I heard that Alexander didn't know who was home, I quickly formulated a plan to scare him. I could only imagine what must have been going through his mind. He had always been a very cautious babysitter and I could almost hear his thoughts...Oh no! I swear I heard the front door but usually I can tell who it is but not this time. Why are they being so quiet? Oh no! It must be a theif or a murderer! But I am responsible, I have to protect Landon and Daniel but they're being too loud, the guy upstairs is going to find us for sure, I have to get them to be quiet somehow! I hustled down into the family room and peered down the basement stairs through the open door, the boys were playing video games and so I snatched my opportunity to hide myself behind the basement door and peeked through the crack in between the door and the doorframe.

Alexander was still frantically yelling to get the boys quiet...

Alexander "Can you guys just be quiet for like one second while I look upstairs? I need to check if someone's here so shut up!
Landon and Daniel "Ok!"

As he began to slowly climb the basement stairs my dog Maggie decided to come and start sniffing at my feet, Alexander was almost all the way up when I kicked my foot at her and she began to back up and bark.

That did it, Alexander got freaked right out and began yelling at Landon and Daniel and soon all three boys were up those basement stairs, up the upstairs stairs, and locked in the upstairs bathroom.

I snuck upstairs to hear what was going on, holding back laughter the entire time as I heard...

Landon "What's going on?"
Alexander "Shhh!"
Daniel "Why are we hiding?"
Alexander "Shhh!
Landon "But who's here?"
Alexander "Landon! Don't you know how to shut up!? I don't know who's here but if you keep talking...do you want to be killed!? Shhh!"

I couldn't take it any longer, but for some added fun I banged on the bathroom door a few times before I proceeded to walk downstairs and plop down on the couch.

Literally about two minutes after I sat down, my Mom came home and said her usual "Hello!" as she came in. The boys heard her voice and immediately came out of their hiding spot to tell her what had happened. As soon as Alexander saw me he turned red with fury and could only say, "You!"

So I think I got even with Alexander pretty good after the closet incident. I don't think he can outdo me now ;).

Of fear and little brothers...

Finally! She had always dreamed of getting her own room. No more messy sister to clean up after. She was free!

Her new room was in the corner of the basement, it was perfectly square with a queen sized bed, two closets, and a wooden dresser. The smaller closet contained the central vacuum, which was very noisy when turned on, but the 10-year-old girl did not mind, she had what she wanted, a room all her own. She would spend many hours in her room, arranging this and that, putting pictures of horses on the creamy yellow walls and stacking her schoolbooks on the closet shelf. Her room was her quiet escape, and she felt so grown up in it. She loved how the sunlight gleamed through the small window in the mornings and throughout the daytime, she hardly ever had to turn on the lights, only at night.

The night was dark and lonely, the young girl was the only person who slept in the basement, the rest of her family slept two levels above her. At first she was not phased by the fact that she would be alone, she would lie in bed with the covers over her head, safe from the scary shadows that filled the small room in the dark. Also, her father had told her to say, “In the name of Jesus be gone!” if she ever felt too scared to sleep. Jesus would protect her, and there was never anything real to be afraid of anyways, no monsters in the closet or under the bed, she could sleep in peace.

The normal bedtime routine would include brushing her teeth, getting into her warm fuzzy pyjamas, turning on the nightlight by the basement stairs, closing both of her closet doors, turning off her bedroom light, leaping into bed and pulling the covers over her head and lastly, falling asleep.

Every night, routine was generally the same, except for sometimes the girl would forget to close her closet doors before she turned off her bedroom light and so she would get up, turn on the light, and make sure her closet was closed. She did not like the shadows of the closet and so the doors would need to be closed for her to be able to fall asleep in peace.

There was one particular night, however when the closet doors did not stay closed as they normally did.

The girl had just finished her regular routine and was just putting the covers over her head when she heard a sound. creak! It was just a small sound, but in a normally silent room at night, the girl became frozen with fear. She tried to think clearly and not worry and she whispered the name of Jesus to herself over and over again, not too loudly for she needed to listen for the sound. creak! It sounded again, a little louder than the last time she was sure. Oh how she wanted to uncover her head to see what was making the sound, but she couldn’t, what if it saw her? She was not even sure if there was an it in her room but if there was she certainly did not want to be seen. But she could not sleep peacefully until she found out the source of the sound. Ok, maybe I’ll peek, just a little, maybe it won’t notice a little peek. So she slowly lifted the covers just enough so she could peek, at first she could not see anything and then she saw the shadow of her dresser. She allowed her eyes to scan the entire room and then she saw it. The closet door was cracked open. But she had closed it before she got into bed, she was sure of it. She did not forget, but how did it get open? She was confused and afraid, she knew that she had closed the closet. But now it was slightly cracked open, why was it open? The question plagued her mind. As she stared at the closet, her imagination began to separate her from reality and she was trapped in her fears. Then the door seemed to open wider as she continued to stare and the creaking sound started again, her heart was thumping wildly and she strained to hold her breath to keep silent. The door was opening more and more with each passing moment. Suddenly a short, fat round figure leaped out of her closet toward her and shouted, “BOO!”

The girl was not waiting to find out what it was, she was already up the basement stairs, tears flowing from her eyes, running to the safety of her mother’s arms. Her mother asked her what was wrong and the girl told the entire story while sobbing. When she described the figure that came out of her closet, she heard a small giggle behind her. She turned around to see her 7-year-old brother in his puffy black winter coat smiling up at her.

Anger began to boil up inside of the girl and she vowed revenge in her mind. From that night on, the girl decided that her closet doors were best left open, she never worried about closing them ever again.

Random Evangelism!

So tonight I went with a group of 11 people to do some street evangelism downtown. It was really cold so we brought some coats and hot chocolate to give away to the homeless people. Unfortunately, we didn't get to meet many homeless people as it was really cold out but we got to see a few really random things while walking around! On one front lawn was parked a truck, I thought that was an odd place to park a truck until I noticed the mailbox attached to the front! Also, my two companions and I stopped in front of a store and saw three dice on the ground showing the numbers 5, 6, and 1, what can it mean?! Oh, and we also found a white toque on a post...we didn't touch it...then we climbed a hill! All in all, even though we may not have had much opportunity to evangelise, I was happy to be able to spend some time in prayer for the homeless and I had some good conversations with my friends and the randomness was fun too! Sometimes I wish that I was a guy just so that I could be free to do more street evangelism but it was really fun to be involved in a group and I love being a girl! I thank the Lord for today =)

Declare At DTBC!

So I just got back from an amazing weekend at David Thompson Bible Camp. Being on Declare, a tour team from PRBI, has given me many opportunities to visit different camps during the school year. This weekend was particularly relaxing and very fun. The girls that were in cabin 10 with Kimmie and I were so cool and I was encouraged by every single one of them. Even though I was only at camp for two days, I really felt like God was helping me to connect with the youth and teaching me a lot. I shared a bit of my testimony and how I felt that God was always disappointed in me because I could never do enough to please Him but then I realized how wrong I was to view God that way. He can't be disappointed in me because He has no expectations of me; I am putting unrealistic expectations on myself! Now this does not in any way give me an excuse to stop pursuing a relationship with Him (not that I would want to give that up), it just means that I don't have to beat myself up when I fail. I guess I just haven't yet learned to accept the fact that I am human, and humans fail, it's in our nature. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 really encouraged me and reminded me that it's ok to be weak. I praise God for His encouragement through the truth of His Word!

A Lot To Ponder...

Oh life...it's crazy how the littlest changes in plans could have such a huge impact on someone's life. I thought I had this reading break planned out (sure there were some things that I was questioning in my head but for the most part I was at peace with the plan) and suddenly, plans had to change and it shook my inner world a little bit. The spiritual authorities in my life were challenging my decision and my ego did not like that. I felt angry and bitter inside...why can't I be trusted? I don't see the danger in the current plan, what could be wrong with it? I feel like I've failed before I've even started...and I want to rebel...what is going on inside of me?......Why am I fighting against those who know and care about me the most, who love me and want the best for me? Is four days really that big of a deal? Maybe...maybe not...all I know is that I must recognize that I am only 19 and there is much wisdom to learn from those who have lived longer than me and God's Word says that, "A fool despises his father’s instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent." - Proverbs 15:5 So I will put aside my selfish pride and young know-it-all attitude and follow the Lord. :) And when I think about it...it's always better to be safe than sorry.

Homework...To Do or Not To Do?

Right now I have chosen "not to do" because I am writing this post :) I used to be frantic about getting homework done but because I have an easier semester (and a boyfriend :) ) I am slowly becoming a little less frantic about getting my homework done. Example? Well I should be writing a ten-page paper right now because it is due this afternoon and I am only half way done...I say no big deal! It'll get done! No worries! Sometimes I think others are more concerned about me getting my homework done than I am! Get off my back people! I'm a good enough student that I will get my homework done on time...and if I don't...which won't happen...I will accept the consequences...perhaps with a slightly less than positive attitude because all you people who encouraged me to get my homework done will bug me to no end......I'm gonna write that paper now ;)

Camp Evergreen

This past weekend the tour team from our school that I am on took a road trip out to camp Evergreen where we led the chapel sessions for a Jr. High youth retreat. In summary, the weekend was so relaxing and very encouraging. The tour team (there were nine of us that went) bonded so well and I know that we grew in unity as a team this weekend. Everyone went with a servant heart and it was clearly demonstrated when we got there that we all had a desire to serve well and connect with the youth sponsors and the youth. We were very encouraged by everyone and by the grace of God every chapel session went very well. Praise the Lord for His work in and through us, may He be honoured and glorified! Hopefully we will see some of the youth at the retreat attend PRBI as a result of this past weekend. Well done Declare team!

So Today...

I was not feeling my best today, not really as chipper and joyful as I usually am. It's one of those thinking days when I start pondering life and some of the things that come to mind are not really all that encouraging. Then I checked my mailbox...and I found a note that brightened my day, a lot :) Thank you MDW ;)

How Can I Pick A Favourite Colour?

One thing that some people find quite puzzling is favourite colours. Why? Well there are so many and some would argue that all colours are pretty in their own way and therefore people should not be able to pick favourites; or at least their reasoning for their favourites had better be pretty good. As for myself? I happen to have two favourite colours: 1. Blue 2. Green Do I have a specific shade of each that I would prefer? Well that comes out of my reasoning for choosing these two favourites...just take a look :) My personal opinion? I love blue and green simply because they are the two colours that I see most often although I must say that I have a love for all colours, especially when they come together in sunsets and sunrises. :) I'm glad we have a Creator God who makes beautiful, colourful things for us to enjoy! Praise Him!

My View on Coffee

1. Coffee tastes DISGUSTING!! (Unless your mug ratio is 1/5 coffee and 3/5 milk and 1/5 sugar)

2. Coffee is addictive (I've witnessed people who are regular coffee drinkers attempt to abstain...sad)

3. Coffee is full of caffeine (My friends won't let me have too much for obvious reasons if you know me)

4. Coffee smells FANTASTIC!

5. Coffee beans (covered in chocolate) are very addicting (Oh childhood... :) )

6. Coffee is usually the first thing offered when I go to other people's houses (What about tea!!??)

7. Coffee flavoured things taste good...somehow...I'll never understand why...

8. Coffee cake is pretty awesome, no complaints there ;) (If coffee gives me an excuse to eat cake, count me in!)

9. Coffee is too complicated! (What IS "good" coffee anyways??)

10. Coffee makes people dehydrated (Fact: one more good reason to avoid it)

11. I'll NEVER be a committed coffee drinker (I hope I don't eat my words later...)

So in summary, just don't offer me coffee! (Unless you only expect me to smell the beans :) )

For more information, and if you want to chuckle, check out the link below ;) http://www.northforest.org/MoralTheologyEthics/vices.html#Coffee

The Dangers of Laughter...

Since last year at PRBI, there have been a couple of guys named Andrew and Dustin who have been wanting to make me spew water for awhile now. At home I managed to accidently soak my little brother Landon because I laughed with water in my mouth but this morning was even worse (or better depending on who you are). Just eating some granola for breakfast, heated up in the microwave for some extra warmth on this frigidly cold day, sitting at the end of the table with Dillon right across from me, Jon beside him and Matthew beside me. We were eating and having delightful conversation when suddenly I had a spoonful of granola in my mouth and I just happened to breath some in and right back out it came! I managed to cover Dillon, part of Jon, most of Dillon's plate, and some of the floor! I must be clear that this was all an accident (quite an embarrassing one I might add) and unfortunately I will never live it down. But I am glad that Andrew and Dustin were not there to see it...sorry guys! Keep trying! (I am going to be more cautious during mealtimes for the sake of the innocent who sit across from me) :)

Back To School...Possibly For The Last Time!

Sitting here in the Calgary Airport for four hours gives me a lot of time to think, and I particularly enjoy pondering what the future will look like. I am graduating from Bible College this year and hopefully starting nursing school next year. I have yet to find out if I have been accepted into the program and so I am patiently awaiting the verdict. God could yet close the door on my plan and that's ok because His plan is better than mine and I trust Him. I am really excited for this last semester to commence tomorrow. Lead me Lord!